An Intensive Study On The Theory Of Interdimensional Travel
by Obese-Gorilla
Summary: Three girls find themselves in the world of Hunter x Hunter, but having never read the mangas or watched the animes they have no idea of what to expect. Armed with an incredibly annoying physics book, they bravely/lazily/grumpily venture into this strange and exciting new world, and pretty much ruin everyone's lives. Warnings? OCs, a bit of swearing, suggestive content & stupidity
1. WHERE THE HELL ARE WE!

My first Fanfic Woohoo!

Enjoy :)

* * *

Bella opened her eyes and sat up, yawning, feeling strangely light and agile. In the moonlight her long blonde hair looked almost white, and her blue eyes reflected silver.

She found that she was sitting on some soft grass with her two best friends lying sound asleep next to her. She looked around, then gasped - everything was so beautiful; there were millions of stars sprinkled across the sky, and the bright crescent moon lit not only her hair and eyes but her whole surroundings in an ethereal light. She thought the sky looked different somehow, but her sleepy brain didn't think much of it.

Instead she focused again on her surroundings. She and her friends were on the top of a round hill surrounded by rolling fields of grass. Other than a few trees there was nothing else in sight.

'Wow, it looks so pretty and peaceful' she thought with a contented smile on her face.

Her smile lasted for a few seconds and was then replaced with a look of horror when her groggy brain realised that she and her friends were sleeping on a random hill in the middle of nowhere.

"Oh shit! Where are we? How did we get here? What's going on? Why don't I remember?"

.

Her friend Shanii stirred and woke up, and looked around with sleepy green eyes. Bits of grass stuck out of her short black hair in a tangled mess. She turned to Bella and murmured:

"Ohh, hey Bella, How's'it goin? Ooh look its Layla... I'mma pushher down the hill hehehehe" Shanii crawled over to the curly-haired girl asleep next to her, and was about to push her down the hill before Bella intervened.

"Awww Bella why not? Shanii whined. "I wanna push her down the hill... wait... hill?... why did I wake up on a hill?...

ERMAGOD WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?! BELLA WHAT'S GOING ON? ANSWER ME!"

Shanii grabbed Bella's shoulders and starting shaking her.

"BELLAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"I don't know!" Bella glared at her violent friend.

.

Next to them, Layla woke up with a big yawn and stretch. She stood up, looked around for about a minute, then lay back down on the ground and was about to go back to sleep when Bella kicked her.

"Meh, go away." Layla grumbled. "I need my beauty sleep"

'Really? We've woken up in the middle of no where and that's all you care about?' Bella thought and she sighed. 'That's Layla for you. never gives a shit about anything. I swear, to make up for the fact that she's a genius the rational part of her brain is missing...'

Shanii started rolling down the hill. "Weeeeeeee!"

Bella looked at Shanii. 'And that one doesn't even have a brain...'

.

She sighed and turned back to Layla who was still lying on the ground with her eyes closed.

"Layla, look around us. Don't you think it's odd that you woke up in a place you've never seen before in your life?"

"No..."

Bella facepalmed. 'I don't even want to know...'

"...Anyway, do you know how we got here?"

Layla slowly opened her eyes and looked at Bella.

"You want to know how we got here..." she said slowly.

Shanii had gotten bored with rolling down the hill and was now sitting next to Layla making a daisy chain.

"Yes" Bella replied.

"I don't remember anything, but based on the evidence around us I do have a theory..."

"do tell"

"The three of us died and instead of passing on, we were sent to another dimension by a godly figure who was bored and thought it would be entertaining"

...

The two girls reacted very differently to what they heard their friend say.

"WHAT! WE DIED? BUT I DON'T FEEL DEAD LAYLA AND I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Shanii jumped up, destroying her daisy chain in the process. "LAYLA WHAT DO WE DO? BRING US BACK TO LIFE LAYLA!" She fell to her knees in front of Layla and starting rolling around on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. Shanii always took Layla's words like Gospel.

Bella was a lot less easy to convince. She knew that Layla was incredibly smart, but this she wouldn't believe. "Haha. Very funny. Seriously, tell us how we got here."

"I just did, and I'll say it again. The three of us died in a traffic accident, and instead of passing on we were sent to another world by a godly figure who was bored and thought that it would be entertaining"

.

This made Bella pause. Having been friends with Layla for years, she knew that the only thing that rivalled Layla's brains was her laziness. The fact that Layla actually bothered to repeat herself meant that what she said was most definitely true. But the idea was so ridiculous that Bella simply couldn't believe it without proof.

"What's your evidence?" She asked.

"Everything around us"

"Explain."

"Nah, can't be bothered."

"Layla! you just said that the three of us died! I think that's something worth taking the time to explain!"

Layla sighed. "Fine. But never again. From now on just accept that I'm always right like Shanii does. _Explaining things to people who _think_ they're smart is such a pain..._"

She sighed again. "It's obvious that we aren't on earth, 'cause the stars are different. And the force of gravity isn't as strong."

"Ooh really? How do you know that?" Shanii jumped up and asked, her big green eyes full of curiosity. It was hard to believe that she had been sobbing uncontrollably moments before.

"The moon looks a lot smaller, which means it's either further away, or it just has a smaller mass. Both of these things suggest that there is less gravity here than in earth. And you can feel it."

"Ooh! That's so cool! Does that mean I have super strength then?" Shanii ran to a giant tree that was growing nearby, hugged as much of the trunk as she could, and uprooted it. "Guys look at what I did!"

Layla didn't react at all whereas Bella was wide-eyed with shock.

.

"Okay... So we're in another world... But what's this about dying?" She inquired.

"It isn't possible to live in multiple dimensions. So if we were to be alive in this one we must have died in our old one."

"Riiight... And how do you know this?"

"I read a book on interdimensional travel when I was eight."

"You came to this conclusion because of a book you read when you were _eight_?

"It was written by a renowned physicist about twenty years ago. It was pretty good read, although I disagree with his loophole theory because according to the-"

"Okay you read a good book! But that doesn't explain the godly figure part of your theory." Bella quickly interjected. Despite being too lazy to finish a conversation, Layla could talk about science for hours. Unfortunately, it was the kind of science that people of average intelligence like Bella (and people of no intelligence like Shanii) could never hope to comprehend.

"The godly figure part is common knowledge. Different ideas about the afterlife are present all over the media and in religion, but one that everyone has heard of is the theory that upon passing away one is sent somewhere else, and there is always a godly figure involved. Be it Hades or a shinigami, the overall idea is the same."

"Whats a shiniga-" Shanii started to say.

"Death god." Layla snapped, and then pointed at Bella. "I can't be bothered explaining any more to the non-believer over there, so maybe instead of wondering about _how_ we got here you could try wondering about _where_ here is." She closed her eyes and promptly ignored them.

.

All was silent as Shanii and Bella processed what Layla had just said...

"OH MY GOD WHERE THE HELL ARE WE!" Shanii screamed.

Then a book fell from the sky and hit her head.

"Ouch! What the hell was that?"

Bella picked the book up from the ground and read the title.

_~An Intensive Study on the Theory of Interdimensional Travel by Arthur Portal~_

"It's a book on interdimentional travel."

"Hey maybe it's the book that Layla read! Lets read it!" Shanii said excitedly.

"If it's something that Layla read then I doubt that we would understand a word of it."

"Oh yeah, the only things that Layla reads are science books and ****"

"WHAT! Layla reads ****!"

"Yeah, don't you?" Layla said, who found that ignoring them took far too much effort.

Bella blushed and muttered something under her breath.

"Anyway, lets see what's in this book..."

.

* * *

Dat was de first chapter! (no duh). 

(update) Anyways, looking back on it I realise that this chapter wasn't terribly entertaining but i promise that it gets better from here onwards! Pinky promise!

Especially if you're a weirdo like me. So read on! You wont regret it!


	2. Meet Mibra!

Bella opened the book and found that all the pages were empty. It took about a minute, but then, much like Tom Riddle's diary (although with much messier handwriting) some words started to appear on the page. She gulped and started to read what was written aloud to her friends.

.

_Hi there! This isn't _actually_ the physics book that Layla read when she was eight, I am in fact a godly being _disguised_ as the physics book that Layla read when she was eight! :D_

_As Layla said, the three of you have in fact died!_

_Guess how you died?_

_Guess!_

_Guess!_

_I'll tell you! You died in a car crash! All three of you! At the exact same time!_

_But guess what!_

_You were all in different crashes!_

_I thought: 'Wow that's so cool! What a coinki-dink!' Which is why instead of sending you where you're supposed to go after dying, I let you live again in another dimension!_

_Why did I send you here of all places you may wonder?_

_Because I had nothing better to do!_

_:D_

_By the way, you might be thinking: '_That's strange, I don't remember a car crash_?' o.O_

_Well that's because I erased your memory of it!_

_I'm very talented. : )_

_PTO - - XD_

_._

"Okay..." Bella said.

"I don't get it" Shanii said.

Layla couldn't be bothered to say anything.

Bella turned to the next page and again after about a minute some more writing appeared.

.

_I bet you want to know where you are!_

_But first!_

_I'll tell you a bit about myself!_

_I'm a Godly Being!_

_And I'm awesome!_

_My favourite colour is black! I like scythes! and skulls!_

_Here is a drawing I did of my favourite skull!_

_-a scribble that didn't resemble a skull in the slightest appeared, taking up half of the page.-_

_Isn't he pretty?_

_Because I sent you here I will help you along in this world!_

_I will also ask you to do some things for me, and you will get a reward if you do!_

_And that's all you need to know about me!_

_Now ill tell you where you are!_

_Wait! I just realised! This whole time I've been saying '_tell_' when really I should have said '_write'_!_

_Wait! Instead of '_said_' I should have written '_writing_'!_

_Silly me!_

_PTO - XD_

_._

"This is the godly being who sent us here?" Bella asked in disbelief.

"And he's supposed to help us along in this world? We're screwed."

Layla opened an eye and looked at them. "How do you know that it's a he?" She asked Shanii.

"Well, he likes black... and scythes... and skulls!"

"And?"

"Umm..."

.

_You were wondering if I'm a he or a she?_

_Well currently, I'm a hermaphrodite!_

_Because books don't have a gender!_

_Isn't that cool!_

_By the way, instead of calling me 'godly being' you can call me Mibra!_

_Ooh, look! A butterfly! Oh it flew away. : (_

_Anyway! Back to where we left off!_

_You are in a world much like earth, only it's different!_

_There isn't as much gravity which means that you will be able to move a lot more freely!_

_Here there are people called hunters!_

_They hunt things!_

_They are very special!_

_You can become a hunter if you pass a test!_

_Also! Here in this world people can use their life force in different ways!_

_They call it 'nen'!_

_Oops! There's no more room on the page!_

_PTO -_

_._

"I wish Mibra would stop doing that." Bella muttered. She hated how it never seemed to get to the point and would quickly reach the end of the page. She was a rather impatient person and felt that it took way too long for the words to appear on a new page.

"Doing what? Is it itchy?" Shanii asked

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked, confused.

"If your bra is uncomfortable it's probably the wrong size. You should get your size checked." Layla said and Shanii nodded.

"A badly fitting bra is not only unflattering but it is also bad for your posture." Shanii said knowingly.

"NOT MY BRA! MIBRA! Oh my god guys! We have just been sent to another dimension, we are currently conversing with a godly figure, and all you two do is talk about _bras_? "

"Sheesh! Grumpy! And they call me bipolar" Shanii said

"We're girls. Of course we're going to talk about bras. And it was Mibra, not Godly Figure, although a good bra is indeed useful if one wants to have a godly figure." Layla said.

"indeed." Said Shanii.

Bella facepalmed. 'What the hell is wrong with these two?' She thought.

.

_Wow that's very interesting!_

_It seems that I will have to get my bra size checked as well! for although I_ am_ a godly figure, I cant say that I _have_ a godly figure!_

_My body is rather lacking in curves you see!_

_Wait! that's because right now I'm a book!_

_Hahaha! silly me!_

_As I was saying before! Or should I say writing! Or should I _write_ writing! Hahaha!_

_As I was writing before!_

_People here can use their nen to do lots of cool things!_

_You have nen too!_

_In fact you have A LOT of nen!_

_Because I had to give you a lot in order to send you here!_

_Otherwise you would be floating in space right now!_

_Here is a drawing of how you would look if that happened!_

_- a random squiggle with eyeballs and blood everywhere -_

_Your surplus supply of nen will only last for 12 hours though! _

_After that you will just be average!_

_PTO! -_

.

"Okay I give up. I can't read any more of this or I'll go insane." Bella sighed and handed the book to Shanii.

"But Bella! It just got to the interesting part!" "Layla! Convince Bella to keep reading"

"Bella, keep reading."

"Fine..."

.

_Wow Layla! You are very convincing! You should join a debating club!_

_I am sorry Bella! I will pay more attention to what I write from now on!_

_As I was writing!_

_Nen makes everything exciting!_

_I want the three of you to become strong and learn nen and fight lots of people!_

_Why do i want this?_

_Because I'm bored and in need of entertaining!_

_This world has people called hunters!_

_Every hunter must learn nen so the three of you must become hunters and then learn nen!_

_So you must take the hunter exam!_

_I have already signed you up for it!_

_Because of the difference in gravity here the three of you are already stronger and faster than a normal person!_

_That is very useful isn't it!_

_However hunters are not normal people!_

_So from now on you must wear wrist and ankle weights to get stronger!_

_I will ask you to do certain tasks! I will give you a reward if you do them!_

_Your first task is this! Go to Zaban City!_

_Zaban city is that way -_

_Goodbye!_

_._

"Yes Sir!" Shanii saluted as Bella closed the book.

"What was it about wrist and ankle weights that Mibra was writing?" Bella asked.

Straight after she said that three sets of them fell from the sky and hit Shanii's head.

"Ow! it happened again! Why does everything fall on my head?"

"Because you have a think skull." Layla said.

"Aw thanks Layla!"

"Shanii I don't think that was a compliment..." Bella muttered.


	3. On the way to Zaban City

This is a random chapter that doesn't have too much to do with the plot, but I had fun writing it so I hope you'll enjoy it :)

.

The three girls put on their wrist and ankle weights and set off in the direction on Zaban city.

*six hours later*

Shanii: "I'm Bored..."

Layla: "Me too"

Bella: "How much longer is this going to take? We've been running for _six hours_!"

Shanii: "Ooh look! I see something!"

Bella: "Really? What is it? Is it the city?"

Layla: "Its the sea..."

Soon enough they reached the edge of the sea.

Bella: "What do we do now?"

Layla: "Swim."

Shanii: "WHAT! ewww! I don't like swimming in the sea... It's all salty and there's fish..."

Bella: "I doubt that Mibra is going to make us swim across the sea to get to Zaban city."

Layla: "Why not? Your bra might be very sadistic."

Shani: *snickers*

Bella: *rolls eyes* "Lets ask it"

.

_Hello again!_

_Yes Bella you will swim across the sea! Just keeping going straight and you will reach Zaban city!_

_And no I am not Bella's bra Layla! Silly Layla!_

_It seems my name has made things rather confusing!_

_I know! I should have a nickname!_

_The three of you can each give me a nickname!_

_You will call me this nickname from now on!_

_Now each of you, pick a nickname!_

_._

Bella: "That's not fair Mibra! We can't just change your name for our own convenience! _And I sort of think it might make things even more confusing, especially if we each have own own nicknames for you_... I'm going to keep calling you Mibra."

Shanii: "Hmmm I'm going to call you-"

Layla: *grabs shanii's arm then whispers something in hear ear.*

SHanii: *snickers* "Hehehe I'm going to call you Tha'Bra!*" *supposed to sound like "that bra"

Layla: "And I'll call you Yorebra."

Bella: "Layla, that's so mean."

Layla: "What are you talking about? Yorebra asked for a nickname and I gave it one. I'm sure its very happy."

.

_Yes Layla I am very happy!_

_I like how you kept the second half of my name in it too! It makes it feel very familiar!_

_Yorebra... It's very nice!_

_And so is Tha'Bra!_

_Thank you Layla and Shanii!_

_Yorebra or Tha'Bra ... Which do you think suits me better Bella?_

_Bella?_

_Bella?_

_._

Shanii was unable to hold in her laughter for any longer. She rolled around on the sand clutching her stomach while Layla grinned sadistically. Bella just stood there at a loss for words. This was the godly figure that was their guide in this world. This _thing_ which was even denser that the book it was disguised as.

Her new life was not going to be easy.

.

yeah I have a pretty immature sense of humour...


	4. Not the old Lady!

and the three arrive in Zaban City!

We finally get to meet some characters from the original story!

Guess who they are?

Guess!

Guess!

Read on to find out!

.

It was mid afternoon when they got to Zaban City.

"Finally we're here!" Shanii knelt down and started kissing the ground and Layla looked around with a bored expression.

Bella opened Mibra to the next page and read:

.

_Good afternoon and good job on completing your first task!_

_I'm so proud of you! :')_

_Now for your reward!_

-A key fell from the sky and landed on Shanii's head...

_Ta-da! your reward is a three bedroom luxury apartment in Yorknew City! Hurray!_

_I hope you'll enjoy it!_

...and with that Mibra snapped shut.-

.

Then the three of them collapsed onto the ground.

"I'm exausted!" Bella gasped.

"I'm so hungry..." Shanii whined.

"I guess the nen supply Yorebra gave us has run out." Layla said. "And our own 'life energy' stores will be pretty low too, with all the running and swimming we did today"

"Not to mention the fact that WE HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING SINCE ARRIVING IN THIS DIMENSION! ... Bella go get us food."

"Do it yourself!"

"No! ... Layla? Make Bella get us food."

"Bella, go get us food."

"Fine." Bella snapped. 'Why is it always me?' She got up and looked around. Even though they were in another dimension, Zaban city looked pretty ordinary to her. They seemed to be in a shopping district, and there were stores all around selling everything from clothes to antiques.

"There's a small dairy over there, I'll go buy something." She left her two friends lying on the ground and set off in the direction of the store, muttering to herself the whole way. _"I bet they wont pay me back for the food... hmmph, they're so ungrateful- Why am I even friends with them?_ Wait..."

.

"Should we tell her?" Shanii asked Layla, as they watched Bella walk away.

"No, she'll realise soon enough." Layla put her arms behind her head and closed her eyes. "Three, two, one-"

"WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY! How the hell are we supposed to pay for food! Or anything!"

Bella ran back to her friends, her anger and panic making her forget all of her tiredness.

"Ask Yorebra for some"

Bella picked up Mibra and opened it to a new page. "Mibra! Gives us some money! And I just realised... Why did you give us an apartment in Yorknew when we're in Zaban City!"

.

_Oh oopsies!_

_I'm not very good at reading maps you see!_

_But it is a very nice apartment!_

_Very good view!_

_And a big TV!_

_You want some money?_

_Well for that you will have to complete a task!_

_You are here purely for my entertainment remember!_

_Here is your new task!_

_One of you must punch an old lady!_

_Have fun!_

_:D_

_._

"Punch an old lady? There's no way I would to do that, even if there was a reward for it. Old ladies are so nice!" Shanii said.

"I would even if there wasn't a reward, but then I'd have to get up, and I'd have to find one, which is too much work..."

"Layla, you just ran and swam for twelve hours; _is searching for a frail old woman really too much work?_"

"She could be hiding..."

All of a sudden Shanii jumped up, with a look of amazement on her face. "Layla! That's the first time I've ever seen you do exercise!"

"Is it?, well good for you 'cause I'm never doing it again."

Shanii stuck her tongue out at her and then turned to Bella, her face full of curiosity. "Bella would you do it? Would you punch an old lady like Layla would?"

"NO! Who do you think I am?"

"Oh, sorry..."

"But I would find one for Layla to punch if there was a reward involved... _We need money you see_..."

.

And so with that said, Bella went off on a search to find an old lady. Five minutes later she had found one and led the poor thing to a spot a few metres from where Shanii and Layla were waiting.

"How did you get her to come?" Shanii asked .

"Layla told me that when I found an old lady I should say to them that I'm a hunter and that they had to come with me."

"What? That's it?"

"Remember what Yorebra wrote? Hunters are very special people. So an ordinary person would probably respect them and do what they say. Now help me up" Layla said, and Shanii and Bella each grabbed one of her arms and hauled her up.

Layla yawned, did a big stretch, and then purposefully walked over to the old lady, rolling around her right shoulder and clenching her fist. The poor oblivious old lady just stood there knitting a sock, back hunched over, wondering what the nice hunter girl who led her here could possibly want.

.

A few metres away and hiding behind a bush, three brothers watched as a girl with long curly hair and a rather sadistic gleam in her eye walked up to an old lady knitting a sock. They had followed one of the girl's companions, a blonde girl, as she led the old lady to where they were now.

"Are you sure you heard her say that she was a hunter Imori?" The big brother, Umori asked.

"Y-yeah I'm sure!" 'At least that's what I think I heard... I hope I'm not wrong!' Imori thought. _'Otherwise my big brothers will get mad at me!'_ (Oh the horror!)

"If she's a hunter then she'll know where the exam site is." Umori said. "Good job Imori! It seems we won't have to keep searching for it any longer."

"What do you think they're doing?" The third brother, Amori asked. "Because it kind of looks like the curly haired girl is going to punch the old lady."

"What? No she wouldn't do that! She's a _girl_, she wouldn't know how to punch someone" Imori said.

"She and the other girl are probably hunters too" Amori replied.

"It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a hunter: people don't just go around punching old ladies Amori. That's one of the worst things a human could do-" Umori's mouth dropped open.

"_She just punched her.._."

.

After witnessing the horrific act, the brothers decided that they should get as far away as possible from the three girls, as they were clearly not to be messed with.

"How could she do that? The poor old lady was defenceless!" Imori gasped as they quickly shuffled off.

"She's insane. Or evil. Or both." Umori said. "And did you see how far the old lady flew? She didn't hold back her punch at all!"

"Her friends are just as bad, the blonde one _led_ the old lady there despite knowing what would happen, and neither of them even tried to stop her." Amori added.

"Okay, it's decided. Those three aren't human. We have to do our best to never get on their bad side. In fact, lets do our best to never see them again!" And the three brothers ran and ran as fast as they could.

.

The old lady sailed in the air for about ten seconds before landing in a tree. Her face hurt like crazy from when the girl had punched her but she didn't mind. After all, she was the first old lady to ever fly!

"Well, in my eighty-six years of living that was the most fun I've ever had!" she cackled, and she got into a more comfortable position in the tree and continued her knitting.

.

"Ew I just found some false teeth! Gross gross gross! Why are there false teeth on the ground anyway?"

"They got knocked out of the old lady's mouth when I punched her."

"Layla you didn't have to punch her so hard! and in her face no less! -Shanii DON'T pick up the false teeth! Didn't you just say they were gross?"

"Well I figured that the harder I punched her the more money Yorebra would give us" Layla shrugged.

"That makes sense I suppose... let's ask it."

.

_Yay you did it!_

_Hahaha that was very funny don't you think!_

_She flew a very long way!_

_And yes, once again Layla was right! A gold star for you!_

_Layla punched the old lady very very VERY hard so I will give you lots and lots and LOTS of money!_

_Don't lose it!_

_Oh! I forgot to tell you!_

_The hunter exam is today!_

_You should go there now!_

_You don't want to be late!_

_It's over there! -_

_Good luck!_

_._

_._

To all of the nice old sock-knitting ladies out there: I'm sorry! I couldn't resist! I'm a horrible human being.

To anyone who guessed the Amori brothers: A gold star for you too! (but I kind of hope that no one did guess- this story is supposed to be exciting and unpredictable...)

hehehe poor them... They don't know that their attempt to get away from the girls is doomed to fail!

On a side note, If you saw someone punch and old lady in the face and send her flying what would you do?

I would probably laugh... that makes me as bad as the three girls doesn't it?


	5. The theory of grilling steak

"What! The exam is today? Why didn't you tell us this before!" Bella screeched, somewhat resembling a Banshee and prompting a few passers-by to hastily shuffle away in the opposite direction. Why they hadn't followed the Amori Brothers' example and already done so is a mystery to us all.

She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down and looked to the direction of Mibra's arrow. As far as she could see it lead down a street which then opened up to a big square.

"Okay guys, let's go." She grabbed Layla and dragged the lazy girl behind her, with Shanii running around doing god knows what as they headed to the square.

.

Upon reaching the square, Shanii saw something that made her eyes sparkle and her mouth drool in wonder.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

Like a crazy fangirl on her way to receiving a restraining order from her idol, Shanii bulldozed over to a small restaurant and burst inside, breaking the door open in her frenzy. All of the excitement from punching old ladies had only strengthened her appetite; so much so that she had actually considered whether or not eating her friends would be worth the legal implications it involved. Then she remembered that you shouldn't eat your friends, even if they do like to punch old ladies.

.

A few moments later all three girls were sitting in the restaurant, with Shanii excitedly flicking through pages of the menu and Bella trying to stop Layla from having a snooze on the counter.

"I'll be with you in a minute!" the chef called out to them, as Layla rudely complained about the lights in the restaurant being too bright for her to get some valuable shut-eye.

"Ooh this looks good! But this does too... And this one here!" Shanii pointed at various dishes on the menu. "But I think I'll get a combo, they come with a toy! Hmmm which combo should I get..."

"Layla, I'm talking to you! Sit up!" Bella said in her most commanding voice.

"Yeah yeah..." Layla muttered. She slowly sat up and tried sleeping in a sitting position.

"Hmm... Fish combo, chicken combo, veggie combo-"

"-And what can I do for you my lovely customers who broke down the door?"

.

The chef came and stood in front of them, across the counter. 'That door would need some considerable strength to break down, these girls must be wanting to take the hunter exam' he thought. 'I hope so, because then the Hunter's association will have to pay for the property damage.'

He looked at the girls curiously. 'They don't look like much, but neither did the boy who came before them. And their accents are strange... they must be from one of those faraway countries in the south, near the NGL perhaps?'

"STEAK COMBO!"

"Layla open your eyes!"

"...Turn off the light..."

'Steak combo? Open your eyes? The light? That sounds a lot like the password, although it isn't quite right... Oh well, I'll let them off because they're foreign and probably don't know the language very well'

"And how would you like it cooked?" he asked Shanii.

"Um... I dunno... Layla what do you think?"

"I like my meat raw and bloody" she said, turning away from them.

O.o

Bella (who happened to greatly appreciate the culinary arts) was outraged rather than creeped out (like the chef was) when she heard this.

"How dare you! Cooking is an art form! Insult it again and you will pay!" Layla just yawned and shrugged. Bella glared at her and then turned to Shanii and said enthusiastically:

"...And Shanii, I would recommend that you have it grilled over a low flame until cooked. This makes sure that the juices from the meat-"

"Close enough! You pass! Make your way over to the back room, another one of you is there already"

.

'Pass? Pass what?' Bella wondered after being interrupted in her soon-to-be very intensive explanation on the theory of grilling steak. Shanii simply jumped up and down happily at the thought of getting a private room to eat her grilled steak combo.

.

'I wonder what toy I'll get?'

.

.

* * *

Who do you think is in the back room?

I'll give you a clue... it's a boy!


	6. How to bake some nice airy bread :)

Killua waited impatiently by the door for the elevator to reach the ground floor. _'How far down does this thing go?_'

.

He heard a huge crash coming from the direction of the restaurant and a female voice shouting "OOOOD!"

'_oood?' what's oood?_' he thought. _'and when is this stupid elevator going to arrive?'_

.

With nothing else to do, he peeked around the corner of the hall and looked into the restaurant. The door had been broken off of it's hinges and lay on the floor. He quickly deduced that the source of the commotion was the three girls sitting at the counter, as they were the only diners there who struck him as odd. (The other diners also happened to be gawking at them in terror). He knew right away that the it was the short one who had shouted _'oood_', as she was the only one who looked stupid enough to say such a thing. Well, they all looked like idiots but she was the one who thought that all the combo meals came with toys. The blonde girl looked far too high-strung and the other girl was, well, asleep. He kept spying on the odd trio for a few minutes, when the sleeping one -Layla he learnt that she was called - turned and looked at him.

"I like my meat raw and bloody."

.

Killua froze. _'How did she know I was watching them? And what's with her creepy comment? Is it some sort of threat?_' He wondered what she was going to do; would she tell her friends that he was spying on them? That would be annoying... Maybe he should just kill them...

.

.

Layla kept staring at the white haired boy, taking in every small detail and processing it in her shrewd mind._ 'Assassin'_ she thought, and shrugged._ 'Meh, it's none of my business.'_

.

.

Killua relaxed when he saw the girl shrug, having clearly lost interest. _'I guess they're just a trio of idiots after all. Boooring!'_ He put his hands in his pockets and strolled over to the elevator, which had finally landed on the ground floor.

He stood by the back wall of the elevator, his left foot kicked up against it and his skateboard wedged between his right arm and waist._ 'This hunter exam better be worth the time this stupid elevator takes to get there...'_

.

.

.

"A private room! A private room! YAY!" Shanii clapped her hands excitedly as she and her friends were led to the elevator.

They entered the elevator and sat at the table, taking no notice of the white-haired boy who was looking at them with shock.

.

"Ooh it's a Lazy Susie! That's so cool!" Shanii started spinning the dish around and around. "WEEEEEE!"

"Shanii stop that! Don't you think it's suspicious that we've randomly been given a private room to eat in? And what was it that the chef was saying about us 'passing'?"

.

Layla ignored them and turned to Killua. "So how many people have you killed?" she asked, as her two friends kept on acting like morons.

.

_'They're taking the hunter exam? Crap...'_ Killua thought. _'As soon as I get out of the lift I'd better try to stay as far away from them as I can... Or risk losing some brain cells - wait did she just ask me how many people I've killed?'_

.

Before he could think of a reply Shanii and Bella finally noticed him.

.

"ERMAGOD LOOK AT THAT SUPER CUTE LITTLE BOY OVER THERE! CAN I GIVE HIM A HUG LAYLA? CAN I?"

"Shanii stop it! You'll scare him!" Bella scolded.

"BUT HE'S SO _CUTE!_"

.

Bella sighed and turned to Layla. "Do you know him?"

"Yeah, he's taking the hunter exam too. His family owns a bakery." She lied.

"A bakery?" She turned to Killua. "So you must know how to bake then? I've always wondered, what should I put inside my bread when I want to give it an airier texture? Because whenever I bake it always ends up looking like a brick. Bread is the only food that I can't make right..."

"Umm" Killua started... '_Why did she say that my family owns a bakery?'_

"It's probably not what you put in, but the temperature of the dough as it's being made. It needs to be colder" Layla said in a bored voice.

"Of course! How could I have missed that!"

"CAN I HUG HIM? PLEEEEEASE!"

"Yeah sure, why not?"

"NO DON'T HUG HIM I NEED TO ASK HIM MORE ABOUT BAKING!"

.

Poor Killua kept his face an emotionless mask, trying as hard as he could not to rip all of their hearts out right then and there._ 'Calm down. They're so stupid that they'll probably die straight away in the hunter exam. Well I know that at least two of them will... I'm not so sure about that girl Layla though. She has a kind of evil sadistic aura that reminds me of my aniki... And the weird things that she says too...'_

.

His thoughts along with the girls' shenanigans were all interrupted by a loud grumbling gurgling sound.

_Grumble grumble grumble... Gurgle gurgle gurgle..._

Shanii blushed in embarrassment as three pairs of eyes turned to her.

"I'm_ hungry_!" she whined.

There was another loud gurgle... And this time Bella blushed.

"Me too..."

They turned to Layla.

"Why isn't your tummy grumbling Layla? Aren't you hungry?"

"I already ate."

"WHAT! WHEN!"

"After punching the old lady. She had a really good turkey sandwich in her handbag."

"YOU STOLE THE OLD LADY'S SANDWICH? HOW COULD YOU LAYLA? POOR OLD LADY!"

"_You stole her sandwich and didn't give any of it to us..._" Bella hissed.

"It was a really good sandwich."

.

The only smidge of sanity Bella had left in her mind shattered into a thousand pieces. She pounced and tackled Layla to the ground.

.

"IT WAS A GOOD SANDWICH WAS IT? WELL THAT'S NICE TO KNOW! - NOT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! I WAS THE ONE THAT FOUND THE OLD LADY SO YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST GIVEN ME HALF!" Bella carried on screaming as she throttled Layla, adding in some rather colourful insults (that I have chosen not to add in fear of having to change the rating of this fanfic). Layla just laughed maniacally as her face slowly started to turn purple.

.

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" Shanii screamed and jumped on the table, spinning around on top of the Lazy Susie and pumping her fist in the air. She had forgotten her hunger yet again as her small brain could only handle so much information at one time.

.

.

Killua stood where he was, watching the strange sight unfold before him and he couldn't help but give a small smirk. _'There's no way it's gonna happen but I kind of hope that they don't die now... They're so stupid it might make the hunter exam more entertaining.'_

.

.

Then the elevator doors opened, revealing ninety-eight hunter examinees, all staring at them with_ WTF?_ written clearer than polished glass on their faces.

.

.

.

I hope you liked it and that Killua wasn't too out of character!

I can't believe we're six chapters in and they still haven't started the hunter exam... I've been too busy trying to make Bella's life a living hell Mwahahaha.

I hope the dots on every line don't annoy anyone... I'm new to this website and I'm still trying to figure out how to do a stupid line break grrr... that's why the formatting sucks throughout the story. But don't worry! even if my brain is smaller than Shanii's I'll somehow manage for your sake :)

Thanks SO MUCH to TimPix and Cocoaspaces for reviewing and following and favouriting! It means so much to me! Like seriously!

So if you have the time please review! even if it's just to say "Oh my god you're so awesome, I love you so much, I think I'm going to die from being exposed to your epicness ahhhhhhh!" :P

jks jks, you should say "This is the best story ever to be written by an obese gorilla! How do you type of the keyboard with such fat fingers I wonder?"

Bye :)


	7. OMG I KILLED LAYLA!

"LAYLA WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RESTAURANT? IT'S ALL DARK AND SCARY! AND THERE'S LOTS OF CREEPY PEOPLE STARING AT U-mmffphmmuffmoowiffhmphuu!" Killua had jumped onto the table and covered Shanii's mouth in his hand. He hissed:

"This is the hunter exam site stupid. And don't shout in front of all of these people. If you let them know how stupid you are you'll be considered an easy target."

"This is the exam site? It's a bit dark don't you think? And where are the desks and chairs? They can't expect us to answer the paper in such poor conditions!" Bella huffed in disbelief. "Honestly, what are they thinking! To be a hunter is considered an important profession isn't it? Layla what's your theory?

Layla?

Layla?"

.

Layla lay on the ground, purple-faced and unmoving.

.

"OH MY GOD I'VE KILLED LAYLA!"

.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO LAYLAAAAAAAA! COME BACK TO US LAYLA COME BACK!" Shanii screamed, accidentally biting Killua's hand as she did so.

"OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE! I'M SO SORRY LAYLA I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL YOU! COME BACK TO LIFE AND YOU CAN HAVE AS MANY TURKEY SANDWICHES AS YOU WANT!" Bella begged her dead friend.

.

...Layla still lay on the ground, purple-faced and unmoving...

.

.

"Welcome to the hunter exam! Please take these number tags and remove the dead body from the elevator." A short green thing wearing a suit handed Killua and the two living girls each a tag and walked off.

.

_'Of the three idiots I expected her to be the least likely to die... And the hunter exam hasn't even started yet...'_ Killua thought as he pinned a tag with the number ninety-nine on his shirt. _'I guess the other two have no chance then... Boring! I'm off.'_ He walked out of the elevator and left the two girls. _'I can't believe I actually held a small hope for them... But without the scary one they're useless'_ He didn't even look back at them as he left.

.

Bella and Shanii didn't even notice his absence as they were too preoccupied with trying to bring Layla back to life.

"I know! We need to kiss her!"

"You mean mouth to mouth?"

"What's that?"

"..."

.

After much debate they decided that they should first and foremost follow the little green thing's instructions and get her out of the elevator.

.

"She's really light!"

"Yeah she is! I would have thought that someone who lazes around all day would be a lot heavier!"

"Layla once told me that using your brain burns lots of calories, so _she_ doesn't need to do exercise but that_ I_ probably should. What do you think she meant by that Bella?"

Bella didn't have the heart to tell her.

.

.

"So what should we do now Bella?"

"I don't know..."

"I wish Layla was here! (sob)"

"She was the one that we would always turn to in moments of crisis... Stupid Layla, why did you have to die!" Bella kicked her dead friend and started to cry. Then she remembered something very annoying yet very important.

.

"MIBRA!"

.

.

Killua looked back at the two-thirds-living/one-third-dead idiot trio, drinking some lovely laxative filled juice, feeling something that could quite possibly have been guilt gnawing at him - much to his annoyance.

_'Maybe I should go see how they're doing... Not because I care about them or anything- I'm just curious.'_

.

"My bra!" He heard Bella shout. "How could we have forgotten about my bra!"

"You mean that bra? Oh yeah that bra could bring Layla back to life!"

.

All of the hunter examinees looked at the girls with puzzled (and some pervy) faces and Killua decided that maybe it would be best not to be associated with the crazy girls._ 'I wouldn't say that they're doing okay... After all they seem to think that Bella's bra could bring Layla back to life, but if I'm seen with them that could cause problems for me, so...'_ he stayed where he was.

.

.

"You mean Tha'Bra? Oh yeah Tha'Bra could bring Layla back to life!" Shanii squealed with excitement. "So where is it?"

"..."

"Don't tell me you've-"

"I'VE FORGOTTEN MIBRA!" Bella screeched, pulling her hair out in despair. Not noticing the creepy pervy looks that she was getting by some of the male examinees. The few female examinees there were simply stared at her in horror. _'How could she forget to wear her bra? A bra is one of a girl's most important possessions! A good bra does not only flatter your appearance, but it's good for you posture too!'_ They thought.

.

.

"NOOOOOOO! WHAT DO WE DOOOOOOOO?" Shanii fell to her knees dramatically. Then a book fell through the ceiling and hit her head. She picked it up and read the title:

_'An inventive study on the tree of intergalactic travel'_

"Nope, this isn't Tha'Bra" She threw the book over her shoulder.

Bella picked the book up from where Shanii had thrown it and read the title for herself._ 'I didn't realise Shanii was that bad at reading'_ she thought._ 'how on earth did she read 'interdimensional' as 'intergalactic'?'_

She braced herself for the coming onslaught of stupid and opened the book to a free page.

.

.

_Hello Bella and Shanii!_

_Layla is dead is she!_

_That is a shame!_

_She was my favourite you see!_

_No offence!_

_But more importantly- you forgot about me!_

_That made me very sad! :(_

_Boohoohoo!_

_From now on Bella must keep me with her at all times!_

_Then you won't forget about me!_

_Falling through the ceiling is a very tricky business you see!_

.

.

"Mibra, can't you bring Layla back to life?" Bella asked.

'PLEEEEEEEASE!" Shanii begged.

.

.

_You want to bring Layla back to life?_

_I want her back too!_

_She made things far more entertaining!_

_:(_

_To bring Layla back to life..._

_It is possible! I think!_

_But I cannot do it alone!_

_Both of you will have to help me!_

.

"Yes of course! We'll do anything!"

.

_Okay!_

_Here is what we must do!_

_But first!_

_I will tell you this!_

_She will never be able to be brought back to life again!_

_Ever!_

_And neither will you two!_

_:D_

_.._

_._

How will they bring Layla back to life I wonder?

Next Chapter we'll finally be meeting some more characters! (Yay!)

Thanks everyone for your reviews! Like seriously!

And to my new little sister Lani0108: one of the things we discussed will happen next chapter!

BTW everyone! - I've started another fic about Milluki! I'd really appreciate it if you give it a read and tell me your thoughts!


	8. ba-ba-ba-bazooka?

HI MAYA! YES I KNOW IT'S YOU! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME MWAHAHAHAHA!

BTW did you get me Minties or Pascal's Curiously Strong Mints?

Ehem... Anyways... back to the story!

* * *

.

"We don't care! Just bring her back to life!"

.

.

_Okay!_

_I will now tell you a super-dooper super-secret ritual to bring Layla back to life!_

_Oops!_

_I meant that I would 'write' you one! Hahaha!_

_We must get the three possessions she prized the most in her life on earth!_

_I will do that!_

_Then you must chant a magic spell to bring her back!_

_The magic spell goes like this!_

_HOODIDOODILI HOODIDOODILI HOO HOO HUM HUM! (while saying this you must dance around her!)_

_...Then it goes!_

_WAAAAAAAAAAA CHICKACHICKA! (at this point you must point at her and then the ceiling!)_

_...Then you must go!_

_MAMAMAMAMUMUMUMIMIMIMIMOMOMOMO! (as fast as you can while spinning around)_

_...And then you must do a back flip!_

_That is all that you must do! :D_

.

.

"YEAH LET'S DO IT!" Shanii pumped her fist in the air.

.

_Oops! I forgot to tell you!_

_You need three people to do this!_

_Good luck!_

.

"Well that makes things more difficult..."

"Yeah, how are we going to find one more person to do it Bella?... I know! Let's ask baker boy!"

"Good idea Shanii!"

.

Killua, who had secretly been listening to their conversation, used his crazy assassin techniques to get as far away from the idiot-trio-minus-one as fast as he could._ 'There's no way anyone would be stupid enough to do something so embarrassing, and you can't just bring people back to life!'_ He thought as he sped away.

.

.

.

***a few hours later***

.

"GON! WHAT DO YOU THINK? WHAT TYPE OF HUNTER DO YOU WANT TO BE?" Leorio and Kurapika demanded.

The elevator doors opened, saving Gon from having to reply to them. _'Phew!'_

The three friends walked out of the elevator and received a number plate each from a small green thing. Then they were greeted by a fat guy who called himself Tonpa.

...

"So, why don't we toast to our new friendship?" Tonpa asked, having handed them each a can of laxative-filled juice.

"BLEUGHUGHGHGHGHGH! Tonpa this juice must be old!" Gon spat out his juice, and Kurapika looked at Tonpa suspiciously.

"Th-that's strange.." Tonpa said while scratching his head. _'Impossible! How can he taste-'_

.

"HWUA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Tonpa's thoughts were interrupted as Shanii gave him a flying kung-fu kick to his head.

"HOW DARE YOU POISON ME YOU FAT UGLY SADISTIC PERVERT OLD MAN! MY TUMMY HURTS LIKE CRAZY! IT'S GOOD THAT I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING SINCE ARRIVING IN THIS DIMENSION BECAUSE IF I DID I WOULD PROBABLY BE SHITTING ALL OVER THE PLACE!" Shanii started jumping on his big tummy. "Hey this is actually kind of fun! YAY!"

.

"Excuse my idiot friend over there." Bella managed to say to Gon&co. while clutching her stomach in pain. "Shanii he's not a trampoline! Find the antidote!"

"Oh yeah! Oops sorry Bella I forgot!"

_"This wouldn't have happened if Layla were here... She would have known right away that it was poisoned"_ Bella muttered. _"But then again, she might have let us drink it anyway for entertainment..._"

"Who's this 'Layla' that you're mentioning?" Kurapika asked. He was interested to know who this 'Layla' was, who the girl in front of him considered to be so intelligent that she could tell whether or not the drink was poisoned. '_After all, I almost drank it myself...'_

"Kurapika! That could be a sensitive topic!" Leorio scolded.

"It's okay... Layla is-WAS my friend... She's over there" Bella pointed to a dead body that was lying in the corner.

Leorio ran over to the corpse. "It looks like she was strangled to death... Who could have done this?" he asked Bella.

"Umm... It was an accident! Really! I was just really angry about the turkey sandwich..."

Leorio and Kurapika stared at Bella; their faces showing both confusion and horror.

.

_"Hey, Kurapika_" Leorio whispered.

_"Yes?"_

_"I think it would be best to stay away from those girls"_

_"I agree."_

_"Let's get Gon and run"_

.

"Nee-nee, Are you really from another dimension?" Gon asked Shanii, who had finally found and taken the antidote and was now handing the rest to Bella. Tonpa lay on the ground groaning. Unfortunately for him, no amount of antidote would cure _his_ sore stomach.

"Yeah we are! Cool eh!" She said as she sat down on top of Tonpa.

"Wow!"

"Hey you're really cute! Just like the little baker boy! AWW! CAN I GIVE HIM A HUG LAY- oh yeah she's dead... :'("

"Is that your friend Layla over there?" Gon pointed at the corpse.

"Yeah..."

"Oh... Sorry about that..."

"It's okay... We're gonna bring her back to life!"

"Really? How?"

"There's this super-duper super-secret ritual that we're going to perform! But we need one more person to do it and we can't find baker boy..."

"I'll do it!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Friends are important! I couldn't stand to lose mine!" Gon said.

"NAWWWW HE'S SO CUTE!" Shanii gave him a suffocating hug. "THANKS SO MUCH!"

"It's okay!" Gon said. "My name's Gon by the way, what's yours?"

"Shanii!"

.

_"Too late..._" Leorio whispered. _"It's beginning to look like love don't you think?"_

_"She's a bit old though..."_

_"Yeah, she looks like she's around your age..."_

_"Well they say that love is blind..."_

_"But this could be considered paedophilia..."_

_"true..."_

_"What should we do?"_

_"We should just trust Gon's instincts."_

_"You mean you can't think of anything?"_

_"..."_

.

"BELLA! GON'S GONNA DO THE RITUAL WITH US!"

"Is he? That's great! I'll ask Mibra to get the items then!"

.

_"What do you think she meant by a 'ritual'?"_

_"It seems that they want to bring their dead friend back to life. That's impossible though of course."_

_"Yeah... And did you hear her say 'my bra' too?_" Leorio grinned pervertedly.

Kurapika sighed.

_"Instead of thinking perverted thoughts, maybe you should think about what this 'ritual' could possibly entail"_

_"Good point... We should probably tag along to make sure that Gon won't be in any danger... hehehe"_

_"I agree with your course of action but not your motive."_

.

.

Soon the five of them were all standing around Layla's body.

"I wonder what items Tha'Bra will get" Shanii said excitedly to Bella.

"Knowing Layla, they'll probably be something weird or disturbing... Maybe some torture devices?"

"Oooooh! Or maybe some illegal drugs?"

.

_"I'm starting to wonder whether it's a good idea to bring this girl back to life..."_ Leorio whispered to Kurapika.

_"I wondered that from the start... Let's just trust Gon's instincts."_

_"Again with Gon's instincts?"_

_"Yes... Either way it doesn't matter because it's impossible to bring the dead back to life."_

.

All of a sudden three objects fell through the ceiling, hitting Shanii and Gon's heads.

"They always fall on _my_ head!" Shanii whined.

"Something fell on my head too!" Gon said to her.

"Really? We must be thick-skull buddies! HIGH FIVE!"

"What is this anyway?" Gon said as he picked up the rather large object that had hit his head.

"I dunno... It's really big isn't it! Bella what do you think?"

"Ba-ba-ba-ba..." She started to say while backing away slowly.

"Ba-ba-ba what?"

"BAZOOKA! WHY THE ***K DOES LAYLA OWN A BAZOOKA? DID YOU KNOW THAT SHE HAD ONE SHANII?"

Leorio and Kurapika backed away too. _'I think it would most definitely be safer for all of us if this girl didn't come back to life...'_

"A bazooka? What's that?" Shanii and Gon asked at the same time.

"Hey look Shanii! There seems to be a switch or lever or something over here... Maybe if I press it-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T PRESS IT! BLONDIE AND OLD GUY! GET YOUR FRIEND TO STOP!"

"Gon! You should really put the bazooka down!" Kurapika tried to say in a calm yet commanding manner.

"AAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH HEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEE!" Leorio screamed while cowering behind his briefcase.

"Wow, this bazooka object seems really interesting! I really want to see what it does but I think I should ask your friend when she comes back to life before I can use it... Mito-san always told me that I should ask someone before I use their belongings!"

"NAWWWWW HE'S SO CUUUTE!" Shanii pulled Gon in another suffocating hug.

"NOOOO!" Bella screamed.

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOM!

.

.

.

.

* * *

Dun Dun Dun...

Yay we've finally met Gon and the crew! :D

Thanks again for your reviews! And don't worry (and please don't sue me) Micha'lea because Layla will be back... With a bang!

Ok I think I might have just ruined the next chapter for you all with my really bad joke...

So what do you think of Gon and Shanii? Cute? Creepy? Or just plain weird?

I think that they're pretty cute :3 BUT cute doesn't necessarily make funny! The author being evil makes funny! Mwahahaha

Sorry Gon and Shanii!

But even so... They're pretty cute aren't they?


	9. Who's the father?

**"NAWWWWW HE'S SO CUUUTE!" Shanii pulled Gon in another suffocating hug.**

**"NOOOO!" Bella screamed.**

**KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOM!**

**A huge hole was blown through the wall.**

.

The five of them (now sporting some rather stylish afros) along with every other person in the room stared at the gaping hole in shock.

"So that's what a bazooka does!" Gon exclaimed.

"THAT'S SO COOL! Okay it's my turn now!"

.

As Gon was handing the bazooka over to Shanii something grabbed her ankle and she screamed.

_"Fire Frederick again and I'll make you wish you hadn't come back to life after the car crash."_ Layla hissed and she sat up.

"LAYLA YOU'RE ALIVE!" Shanii screamed as she and Bella tackled her into a hug.

"But how? What about the ritual? We were supposed to do a ritual to bring you back to life!"

"Oh yeah that... Yorebra told me to only come back to life after you guys embarrassed yourselves with that fake ritual, but then I got annoyed when you fired my baby Frederick at the wall so I came back early."

"..."

"I'm feeling kind of tired now so I'll just be going to sleep... Put Frederick down will you?" She asked Gon as she lay back down.

As Gon put the bazooka down next to Layla she opened one eye and whispered to him:_ "Touch my baby again and you die."_

"_eeeeeek!_" Gon jumped back and hid behind Shanii. "You're friend is a little scary..."

"Don't mind her, she's just a bit grumpy that's all... You would be too if that was the second time you died in a week... But don't worry! YOU'LL BE FRIENDS IN NO TIME! :D"

.

_"She came back to life..._" Kurapika whispered in disbelief.

_"And she's even scarier than her friends..."_ Leorio whispered back.

.

.

**~And here's a random little scene with the Amori Brothers! (Boo! No one cares! Go away!)~**

.

"I wonder where Tonpa is..." Imori said to his brothers. "We were supposed to meet with him to discuss rookie-crushing"

"Maybe he was near that explosion earlier - let's go see" Amori said.

The three brothers headed over to the huge hole in the wall and saw something even more fearful.

"I-I-I-It's THEM!"

"H-h-h-how c-could we have not n-n-n-n-noticed them earlier?"

"L-lets just pretend that w-we didn't s-s-s-see them."

"O-okay..."

_They shuffled away..._

.

**~End of the random little scene with the Amori Brothers (Well that was pointless...)~**

**Why does no one care about the Amori Brothers? :'(**

.

.

Bella sat down next to Layla, wondering how many turkey sandwiches she would have to make her friend before she forgave her, when something caught her eye.

"What's this?" She picked up a glass bottle and a well-worn paperback novel. "A jumbo-sized bottle of Tobasco sauce and-" She blushed. "what kind of sick, perverted person would read this kind of thing?"

Layla rolled over and snatched the book from Bella's hands. "It's a literary masterpiece" She grumbled.

"Wait... THESE are your most prized possessions? A bazooka, a bottle of Tobasco and erotic reading material?"

"What's erotic reading material?" Gon asked.

"It's okay Gon, you'll know in a few years time." Leorio chuckled while Kurapika looked at Layla with a similar expression to Bella's.

"She means a book full of ****" Layla said a-matter-of-factly.

Kurapika and Bella were now red-faced and ready to slap Layla for saying something so inappropriate to the cute and innocent little twelve year old.

"What's ****?" Gon asked.

Layla was about to give Gon a very intensive lecture on the theory of sexual reproduction when-

.

BRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGGG G!

.

One of the walls rose up, and a tall guy with a moustache instead of a mouth appeared, signalling for all of their attention. (and thus Gon's innocence was saved... For now...)

.

"I apologise for the wait. The entry period for the hunter exams has..."

.

"The way his moustache jiggles around when he speaks is kind of creeping me out..." Layla said rudely.

"Me too... hehehe" Shanii snickered.

"Guys be quiet!" Bella scolded.

"And his hair is weird too..." Shanii added.

"Guys seriously! He could be saying something important" Bella tried to explain to her friends.

"How do you think he brushes his teeth?" Layla asked.

"OH MY GOD SHUT UP!"

.

There was absolute silence as everyone turned to look at Bella, who was now blushing furiously. "S-sorry!" She squawked. "Carry on with your very interesting and informative and heart-warming speech!"

.

Satotz just looked at her, and then turned around and started walking down the tunnel in a rather strange manner.

.

"Bella I think you hurt his feelings" Shanii looked at Bella disappointedly.

"Bu-but I was just! -urgh I don't even care anymore."

.

All of the hunter examinees followed Satotz down the tunnel.

.

_...'Great, this test is gonna involve exercise.'..._ Layla thought. She saw Killua ahead of her and she walked up to him. The examiner's pace was slowly starting to quicken and she knew that she needed to act fast.

"Hey baker boy" She said.

Killua turned to the girl and nearly lost his balance on his skateboard in his shock. "You're alive!"

"Yeah, this is the second time this week I've come back to life and it's rather tiring so give me your skateboard."

"No."

"Give me your skateboard."

"No."

.

_...'now to annoy him...'_ Layla thought.

"If you give me your skateboard I'll lend you a really good book."

"No."

"You sure? It's a literary masterpiece."

"No."

"It's a really good book"

"No."

"I'll let you have some tobasco sauce the next time you eat."

"No."

.

_...'now to shock and scare him so he'll want someone else's company...'_

"I'll let you touch my baby."

"N-What? O.o"

"My baby. My little Freddie"

"You're a mother?"

"Give me your skateboard."

"You're a mother?"

"Give me your skateboard and you'll find out."

"..."

.

_...'annoying old guy will come in 3, 2, 1-'_

"HEY KID! GET OFF YOUR SKATEBOARD THAT'S CHEATING!" Leorio wheezed.

"***k off old guy, I'm talking to baker boy" Layla deadpanned.

"I'm not old!"

"I don't care."

.

_...'Shanii will come with the baby-stealing twelve year old in 3, 2, 1-'_

"Layla you're being so mean to the old guy! Hehehe it's kind of funny...OOH IT'S BAKER BOY! HE'S SO CUTE XD" Shanii ran up to Layla with Gon in tow.

"Leorio it's not cheating!" Gon said.

"WHAT! But he's on a skateboard!"

"So? We just need to follow the examiner. It doesn't matter how."

.

_...'Baker boy will ask for baby-stealer's age in 3-'_

Killua was staring at Gon. He skated over to him. "So, how old are you?"

"Hey, I'm talking to you Baker Boy." Layla said. She was ignored.

"I'm twelve!"

"Hmm..." Killua jumped off his skateboard and ran alongside Gon. As he flipped up his skateboard Layla caught it and rode it herself.

_'Easy...'_ She thought, and she skated away without looking back.

.

"I'm Killua."

"I'm Gon."

"I'M SHANII! XD"

"I'm Leo-"

"So how do you know the idiot trio Gon?"

"Hey! I was-"

"WE AREN'T IDIOTS! MEANIE!" Shanii childishly stuck her tongue out at Killua, proving that she was in fact an idiot.

"Hey!-"

"So how do you know them? Or more specifically, how do you know that she-devil over there with my skateboard?"

"You mean Layla? I only just met her when she came back to life a few minutes ago." Gon said. "She's a bit scary... But she's Shanii's friend so she must be a nice person really!"

"Hey guys!-"

"NAWWWWW GON YOU'RE SO CUUTE! AND DON'T WORRY LAYLA IS REALLY COOL ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HER! SHE'S JUST IN A BAD MOOD RIGHT NOW! MOST OF THE TIME SHE'S WAY MORE LAID-BACK AND STUFF"

"Guys-" (T_T)

"Shanii there's no need to shout!" Bella huffed as she ran over to the three of them (plus Leorio).

"oops hehe"

.

"Hey where did that girl go?" Bella asked Gon.

"You mean Layla? She's up ahead. She borrowed Killua's skateboard!"

_"You mean she stole it..."_ Killua muttered.

"No not Layla, the girl with the short blonde hair that you were with."

"OH YOU MEAN THAT REALLY PRETTY GIRL THAT THE OLD GUY HAS HIS EYE ON?"

"Yeah her."

"what! I don't have my eye on a pretty-"

"SHE'S SO PRETTY! I'M SO JEALOUS!"

"Sorry Bella, I don't know any pretty blonde girls... Aside from you that is! :D" (Oh Gon is quite the charmer isn't he!)

"Uuh thanks... But you were with her just before"

Killua sighed, having finally caught on. "He's a boy."

"What?"

"This pretty person you're talking about is probably a boy."

"WHAT! No!"

"Gon, do you know any pretty blonde boys?" Killua asked.

"Oh you mean Kurapika!" Gon said.

"WHAT! No! She's too pretty to be a boy!"

"He's a boy."

"wow... I'm speechless"

Shanii meanwhile was sobbing in despair. "A BOY is prettier than me!"

.

Running further ahead, Kurapika sneezed. And then he sneezed again. And again. And again.

"I seem to have caught a cold... I wonder if Leorio has some medicine in his briefcase." He said as he follwed the Satotz and the other examinees.

.

* * *

I don't think that this chapter and the last were as good as the others and I apologise for that!

I had a mini writers-block kind of thing and I had SO MUCH trouble writing these two chapters! (even if I re-wrote them I don't think I could make them much better) :'(

I'm not sure why, although it might have something to do with me spending all of my time fangirling over Shingeki no Kyojin- or more specifically Levi...

I'm so sorry guys! I promise to up my game from now on!

(But I still haven't figured out how to do a stupid line break...)


	10. The terrifying effects of Leorio-rays

**Ch-ch-ch-chapter TEN!**

Sorry that it's taken me much longer than usual to update! I've actually had a life recently! as in I actually left the house one day! *gasp!*

I know, I know- it's hard to believe! You might find it a bit easier to believe when I tell you that the only reason why I left was to try out a new Pizza place... Yes that sounds more like what Obese-Gorilla-sama would do.

I won't tell you what else I've done because you would lose all faith in humanity if you found out. 

Umm, moving on...

Thankooo **Lani0108** for being awesome and **Timpix** for being awesome and **Misty April** for being awesome.

Why are they awesome? Because they were the latest people to reviewwww! _(Lani gets bonus points for being my-sister-from-another-mister though, OH YEAH!)_

Those who have not experienced the wonder of being reviewed do not understand it's power... IT'S LIKE A DRUG! They make you all happy and crazy and then you start to crave more... *drooling like Homer Simpson... Reviewwws ughghghghgh*

So-so-so-so-so! REVIEW AND INSTANTLY UPGRADE YOUR LEVEL OF AWESOME! Don't be shy! I would LOOVE to hear from you! (please don't be mean though) hehehe :P

BACK TO THE STORYYYYY! (ooh and I apologise in advance to all Leorio fans for what's to come.)

* * *

.

.

Nothing much happened as the hunter examinees ran down the tunnel. A few people dropped out, a few people died - nothing worth writing about. When they reached the stairs however, things started to get a bit more interesting...

.

Layla, who was at the front on Killua's skateboard, cursed upon seeing the steps and did what any lazy person would do. She jumped onto the back of a big guy who was running next to her.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing bitch!" Todo grunted.

"Think of the baby."

"...what?"

"Frederick. You don't want him to suffer do you?" she said.

"You brought a _baby_ with you to the hunter exam?" Todo the wrestler was confused.

"No I didn't bring him, he came to me." Layla said.

_"I don't see any baby..."_

Layla whipped out her bazooka and pointed it at his face. "That's funny, 'cause Freddie can see you pretty clearly."

"OOKAY I'M RUNNING!"

.

Running further behind was Gon, Killua and Shanii.

"Gon! Wanna race to see who comes first?" Killua asked.

"HEY WHAT ABOUT ME BAKER BOY! I WANNA RACE TOO!"

"Yeah fine... you can race us too." -_-

"Sure! The loser has to buy dinner! :D" Gon said enthusiastically.

"Okay!"

"Ready! Set! -Hey Stupid we haven't said 'go' yet!"

"TOO BAD! MWAHAHAHA! THE FREE DINNER IS MINE!" Stupid, I mean Shanii cackled as she dashed ahead; leaving a cloud of dust behind her.

_"Cheat..._" Killua mumbled as he and Gon watched her retreating figure.

"It's okay! Shanii's just really hungry! She hasn't eaten anything since arriving in this dimension!" Gon said to Killua.

"Since arriving _where_?" Killua asked.

"This dimension! :D"

"right..." _'I wondered why Gon got along so well with the stupid girl... Great minds think alike they say... Not-so-great minds seem to as well...'_

Killua's thoughts were interrupted when he saw Bella zoom past even faster than Shanii with a look of sheer terror on her face. He then saw a shirtless Leorio run past too, while making strange grunting noises which quite possibly could have been heavy breathing. However he didn't see much of this as he had to shield his eyes to protect himself from over-exposure to Leorio-ness._ 'Gah! I think I'm dying!'_ He thought, and he wondered if anyone would survive if they were directly exposed to the horror that he only caught a glimpse of.

.

.

Bella had been given no warning whatsoever when Leorio suddenly stripped mid-run, all the while wheezing like someone who smoked 50 a day. She had the huge misfortune of being next to him at the time, and was immediately blasted with Leorio-rays: a strange phenomenon that occurs when a person is so repulsive or lousy (or whatever it is that they are) that it literally oozes out of them - much like the sun emitting UV rays.

She had been protected from the Leorio-rays up till now because of the SuperSuit that Leorio had worn, custom made by a short woman named Edna Mode- who claimed that by making it she should be considered humanity's saviour.

However, as Leorio had removed his shirt without giving her a chance to run and hide, Bella was close to collapsing from the immediate exposure. Not knowing what else to do, she fled to the front of the examinee group to find Layla; teary-eyed and whimpering from her traumatic experience. To say that she had been scarred for life is an understatement. Not even death could free her from that.

.

"Laylaaaa!" Bella whimpered at her friend. She was very close to reaching her limit.

"What. You wanna hitch a ride too?" Layla looked down at Bella from her noble steed, i.e. Todo the wrestler. _'Looks like she's been exposed to something nasty, I bet it has something to do with the old guy.'_

"urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Just before Bella collapsed (foaming at the mouth and her eyes rolled back), Layla grabbed her and hoisted the unconscious girl onto her ride too. Despite what everyone else might have thought, Layla cared for her friend: _who else would make her as many turkey sandwiches as she desired?_

Poor Todo didn't say a word as he was forced to carry another person up the stairs, as he didn't want to be in Freddie's line of sight again.

.

Leorio, who was unaware of the effect that he had on everyone, carried on scarring people left right and centre- drastically reducing the number of examinees that would pass the first phase of the exam. These buggers were the lucky ones though, believe it or not, as Bella had taken in most of the Leorio-rays, saving many with her heroic (although unintended) sacrifice.

Leorio caught up to Kurapika; who happened to be one of the few people in existence able to tolerate being exposed to Leorio-rays for extended periods of time. ('Tis a miracle, I know. - it must be something to do with his prettiness counteracting the negative Leorio effects.) The two of them then proceeded to have a heart-to-heart talk on their reasons for becoming hunters, and promptly fell in love. (wait, WHAT?)

.

Before they could confess their feelings for each other, Gon and Killua caught up to them.

"See you at the goal Kurapika! :D"

"Catch you later, Old timer." Killua said, while shielding his eyes slightly. Although the Leorio-rays were considerably weaker than before, looking straight at Leorio for too long could still cause disfigurement or insanity.

"I'M NOT OLD! I'M A TEENAGER LIKE YOU GUYS!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

* * *

After recovering from that shocking piece of news, Gon and Killua caught up with Shanii, who had gotten bored with running by herself.

"I'm impressed that you can keep up with me." Killua said to Gon.

"Really? _Hehehe!_" Gon said while scratching the back of his head.

"Pfftt! THIS IS NOTHING! YOU GUYS ARE SLOOOOOOOW!"

"Oh really? We've caught up with you, Stupid." said Killua with an eyebrow raised.

"THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE I WAS BORED WITH RUNNING BY MYSELF!"

"Suuure. Anyway, this exam is boring. It's no fun at all."

"So why do you want to become a hunter Killua? Shanni?" Gon asked.

"I don't really care about being a hunter, I just heard that the exam was really hard, and I thought it sounded like fun." Killua said.

"WHAT? BAKER BOY YOU'RE SO WEIRD!"

"What about you Shanii?" Gon asked.

"Tha'Bra told us to!"

"Ha! You say that I'm weird? You and your idiot friends are taking the exam because apparently a BRA told you to!"

"IT DID!"

"Why does your bra want you to take the hunter exam?" Gon asked.

"IT'S NOT MY BRA! Anyways, it wants us to become strong and learn nen and fight people."

"What's nen Stupid?"

"I DUNNO! ASK LAYLA!"

.

Killua shuddered at the thought of having to speak with the Lead Sadist of the Idiot Trio again. He had not forgotten that weird conversation he had with her concerning a baby named Freddie. "Never mind... Forget I asked. So Gon, what about you?" Killua said, trying to change the subject.

.

"My dad's a hunter! So I want to be a hunter like him! :D"

"NAWWWWW THAT'S SO CUUUTE!" Shanii grabbed Gon and hugged him, despite what had occurred the last time she did so. (kabooom)

"So what kind of hunter is your dad?" Killua asked as Gon struggled to breathe in Shanii's grasp.

"I don't know!" Gon somehow managed to say.

"HAHAHA! You're weird too! You want to be like your dad but you don't even know him!"

"DON'T BE MEAN TO GON BAKER BOY!"

"You're the one that's suffocating him Stupid!"

Shanii let go of Gon and he continued with his story.

"I was raised by Mito-san and I've only seen my dad through pictures. When he was twelve he took the hunter exam and left the island. I want to become a hunter to know why he chose being a hunter over raising me! :D"

"oh..." Killua said.

"Waaah Poor Gon!" Shanii sobbed. "DON'T WORRY! I'LL FIND YOUR DAD AND BEAT HIM UP FOR DITCHING YOU!"

"Uhh, no that's okay! You don't need to do that!"

"BUT THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!"

"No really! You don't have to!"

"SO WHAT DOES YOUR DAD LOOK LIKE! DO YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF HIM I CAN SEE? I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE IF I'M GONNA BEAT HIM UP!"

"Please don't..."

Killua didn't say anything as he thought about what Shanni had said. _'Friends huh? I wonder if I could be friends with Gon...'_

.

.

* * *

"The exit! It's the exit!" Some random examinee said.

"WOOHOO! FREE DINNER FOR MEEEEE!" Shanii tried sprinting ahead but Gon and Killua were prepared. They each grabbed one of her arms, pulling her back, and used the momentum to push themselves forward. "HEYYYYY NO FAIR!"

.

Satotz reached the exit and slowed to a stop. He turned around to see how many people made it this far. 'hmm quite a few' he thought, when-

"GOAL!" Gon and Killua passed him at the exact same time.

"I won!"

"No I did!"

"No I was definitely first."

"HEY YOU CHEATED!" Shanii ran out after them.

"You cheated first! We were just returning the favour, Stupid."

"BUT I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHI-"

"_-yeah, yeah._"

"Looks like you're buying us dinner Shanii! :D"

"NAWWW YOU'RE SO CUUUUUTE! OKAY I'LL BUY YOU DINNER! Tha'Bra owes us loads of money from punching- HEY IT'S LAYLA!"

Shanii and Gon waved at Layla as she rode Todo up the stairs and Killua put his hands in his pockets, trying to look disinterested rather than scared, as he avoided meeting her eyes. He briefly wondered how Shanii and Gon could have such short attention spans.

.

"That's strange. My ride seems to be slowing down... Maybe he wants to meet Freddie." Layla looked down at Todo with a sadistic gleam in her eye.

"NOOOOOO!" Todo-the-wrestler-turned-noble-steed ran even faster.

"uuuuuuurghhhhhhh..." Bella still hadn't recovered from her Leorio-overexposure.

.

"Hey! Bella's there too! She doesn't look too good, I wonder what happened to her?" Gon said.

"OH NOOOO! POOR BELLA! EWW I CAN ONLY SEE THE WHITES OF HER EYES!"

Killua muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like '_Leorio-rays'._

.

Speak of the devil! Behind the girls on board the S.S Wrestler came Leorio and Kurapika. Kurapika was looking as pretty as always, and Leorio... He was err... Umm... Yeah.

There seemed to be some tension between the two of them, like there was something left unsaid... But no one paid any attention to this as they were all too busy recovering from the shock of being exposed to even more Leorio-rays -and in broad daylight too!

.

Gon, who had a fast recovery rate, took a deep, calming breath and turned to Satotz. "Is this where the second phase is held?" He asked.

"No, we still have quite a way to go." Satotz replied.

"Ugh, that sucks. Even more work." Layla grumbled.

Everyone looked at her.

"What." She looked down at them all from her seat aboard the wrestler.

"NOTHING! Heh, heh heh..." _*whistles a merry tune* *avoids eye contact* *comments on the weather*_

.

"These are the Numere Wetlands. Otherwise known as the Swindlers Swamp." Satotz said, moustache jiggling. "You must cross this to get to the second phase of the exam."

* * *

I apologise again to all Leorio fans. I'm abusing his position as the official butt-monkey of the HxH series.

Hopefully my explanation of Leorio-rays made sense. ...In case you were wondering, This 'ray-emitting' phenomenon isn't always caused by being lame.

For example Levi from SnK emits Levi-rays. Levi-rays cause people to collapse from overexposure to awesomeness and the ovaries of every female in the vicinity to explode. This is NOT because Levi is lame. Levi is not lame. Levi is magnificence itself.

Re-re-re-reviewwwww! (And sorry for the long authors notes... if you actually read them both you should really give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.)


	11. A Search for the Prophetic Unicorn

Thanks for your reviews guys! You have successfully increased your level of awesomeness. Good for you!

I'm going to give you guys a warning for this chapter. I mention drugs and stuff (oh no shame on you Obese Gorilla-sama!)_ But just because I mention them it does not mean that I'm saying that they're okay_, okay? Hugs not drugs guys. **Hugs not drugs.**

Also, there's hippies. So if you don't like hippies you may not like this chapter. I personally have no problem whatsoever with hippies (well I've never actually met one) but yeah. Some people don't like them apparently. Sorry Hippies if I offend you too. My dad was a wannabe hippie when he was younger (unfortunately for him the hippie era had already ended by then so he was just weird.) but anyways, He and the internet were the only sources I had for 'hippie research' so I apologise if my representation of Hippies isn't accurate or is offending. hahaha who am I kidding, I always offend people! I just love abusing stereotypes XD

I'll say it again. Hugs not drugs.

* * *

.

The three girls weren't listening as Satotz explained to the examinees the dangers of the Swindlers Swamp. Bella was simply in no condition to comprehend _anything_ and Shanii was slowly being hypnotised by the jiggling of Satotz's moustache. They both had vacant expressions on their faces and Shanii had a bit of drool coming out the corner of her mouth. And Layla? She wasn't listening cause she quite frankly didn't give a shit.

So when some guy came around the corner claiming that _he_ was the real examiner, and that Satotz wanted to eat them all, they didn't really react. Bella was still in her comatose state on Todo's shoulders, and Shanii was still dribbling. Layla still didn't give a shit. _'pffft, It's obvious who the real examiner is from the hems of their trousers. And you can clearly see that the guy's lying when you look at his left pinkie.'_ Layla thought. She didn't voice her thoughts though, because she was curious to see who would be stupid enough to fall for it._ 'If they don't get eaten then I can easily make them my slave later on...'_ (You can never have too many slaves after all.)

The imposter carried on with his tirade about man-faced apes and many of the applicants became suspicious of Satotz.

"Bastard..." Leorio said.

"He certainly doesn't _walk_ like a real person." Hanzo the ninja agreed.

_'hmmm, the old guy I don't really want to use but the ninja...'_ Layla thought with an evil glint in her eye. And Hanzo's fate was decided. Poor Hanzo!

.

All of a sudden some playing cards flew through the air and killed the imposter. Some cards flew to Satotz as well but he caught them, releasing Shanii from her hypnotised state as he did so. Hisoka chucked while shuffling the rest of his cards.

_"Creeeeeepyyyyyyyyyyyy!"_ Shanii whispered (very loudly) to Layla. Layla just looked at Hisoka, taking advantage of the increased visibility she got from the extra height of sitting on Todo._ 'Pedo magician who kills for pleasure. I'm guessing he used that 'nen' thing just now. If Yorebra finds out about him I bet it'll want us to fight each other. Great. Even more work. I'll have to keep Bella away from him so Yorebra doesn't meet him accidentally'_

Hisoka ignored Shanii's rude whisper and announced rather dramatically to the rest of the throng who the real examiner was. Leorio and Hanzo grinned sheepishly. "Heh heh heh... Heh... ...Heh"

Once all that drama was over, Satotz went back to explaining the dangers of the Swindler's Swamp. 'yeah, yeah, whatever...' Layla thought.

.

It took a while but finally the lecture was over and the marathon resumed. Shanii ran with Gon and Killua while Bella and Layla carried on riding Todo...

* * *

.

Killua looked back at Hisoka and some grumpy looking examinees behind him. "We should move up." He said to Gon and Shanii.

"Yeah! We don't want to lose sight of the examiner! :D" Gon said with his usual charm.

"I'm more concerned with increasing the distance between us and Hisoka."

"YEAH GON I AGREE WITH BAKER BOY! THE CLOWN GUY IS SUPER CREEPY!"

"Shut up stupid he can hear you! Anyway I can tell that he's dangerous from his smell."

"YEAH HE NEEDS TO PUT ON SOME DEODORANT! POOHWHEE!" Shanii waved her hand in front of her nose and laughed.

Killua looked at Shanii in horror._ 'how stupid can someone possibly be so stupid? I didn't mean 'smell' literally. She must have a death wish by offending that guy.'_

Hisoka was looking at Shanii all creepily. _'oooh insults turn me on... haaaaaaaaa'_ he thought as he licked his lips.

Shanii shuddered. "EEEEK! Does anyone else feel suuuuuper creeped out right now? I bet it was the creepy clown guy!" She peeked a look over her shoulder and screamed. "AHHHH HE'S SO CREEPY I FEEL SO VIOLATED WHEN HE LOOKS AT ME!"

Killua face-palmed and Gon shouted to Leorio and Kurapika. "Killua says that we should move up! :D"

Killua cringed. _'can't these two read the tension around us?_'

.

* * *

Todo tried his best to keep up with the rest of the examinees, but he was getting tired from carrying the extra weight of two girls and a bazooka. He soon fell behind the group and got lost. He dropped Bella and Layla onto the ground. Bella landed on her head, which seemed to wake her up a bit rather than cause her any harm. After all, she couldn't exactly get worse than she already was... Leorio-rays are a serious business.

"You know what they do to useless horses?" Layla stood up and asked Todo as she stroked Freddie. Todo gulped.

_"Sorry Sadist Bitch I got lost."_ Todo muttered. Then he realised what he had just said. "I mean umm... I didn't call you a sadist bitch! _please don't kill me..._"

"Hmmm Sadist Bitch? I like it. But I would prefer **Lord** Sadist Bitch."

"Uhh okay Lord Sadist Bitch! Please don't kill me!" Todo bowed down to her.

"It's a bit long isn't it? You can call me LSB instead." Layla said as she placed a foot on Todo's head.

.

"_LSD_? Did you say _LSD_ man?" Bella stood up and wandered over to Layla with a 'happy' look on her face replacing her usual scowl. "_Duuude,_ share the love, share the drugs" Bella said.

Layla moved her foot from Todo's head and looked at Bella. Todo scrambled up to stand next to her. They both looked at Bella for a very long time saying nothing. Bella just nodded her head absentmindedly and pointed at a tree: "_duuude_, you look totally cool right now, did you do something to your hair? Pink really suits you man... It shows the love you have in your heart. _Love man, loooove_." She trudged over to the tree and gave it a hug. _"I love you man..."_

"uhh What happened to your friend LSB?" Todo whispered to Layla.

"She's turned into a hippie."

"What's a 'hippie'?"

"You don't have those in this dimension? They're an extinct species that came close to ruling our world during the 1960's. Basically they wander around on drugs, listening to psychedelic rock and loving people."

"Are they dangerous?"

"Nah, you'll be fine as long as you're not allergic to flowers or fabric dye."

"Uh..._ That's not good..._" As it so happened, Todo was VERY allergic to certain flowers and brands of fabric dye.

They looked back at Bella who was still hugging the tree.

"What should we do with her?" Todo asked.

.

Before Layla could reply, Bella swerved around to face them, and then lost her balance and face-planted. She picked herself up and walked up to Layla and Todo, bursting a couple of personal bubbles as she embraced them both, bringing their faces close together.

"_My good friends_, I have a confession to make." She said.

Todo looked from Bella to Layla, silently asking the lazy girl to do something about her changed friend who was seriously scaring him.

"What's your confession?" Layla asked, undisturbed, and not caring about Todo's plight.

"Well, the truth is... I'm on a journey..."

"A journey?" Todo asked cautiously.

"Like a, like, like a pilgrimage. A pilgrimage of_ looove and destiny._"

"Are you searching for the prophetic unicorn?" Layla asked in perfect seriousness.

"_Yeeeah man!_ How did you know? ...oooh I get it! You're the guide for my quest! Aww I love you man." Bella let go of the two of them, put her hands in the air and starting swaying around while singing Janis Joplin's rendition of 'Summertime'.

_"Suuuumertime time time time..."_

Todo covered his ears in agony while Layla face-palmed. "Bella, no one can do Janis Joplin. Only Janis Joplin can do Janis Joplin. Anyone else just sounds like a cat being strangled to death. Come on, we need to search for the prophetic unicorn."

_"What! you're going along with this!"_ Todo whispered in panic. _"Unicorns don't exist! Where are we supposed to find a prophetic unicorn if they don't exist!"_

"We're in the Swindlers Swamp and Bella is a hippie. These two things mean that she will most certainly find a unicorn. It doesn't matter if they do or don't exist. She'll find one." Layla snapped. "And this is some great blackmailing material... it's not everyday that the most high-strung person you know turns into _that." _She gestured at Bella who was now conversing with a rock.

"... But what about the hunter exam?"

"don't worry about it. You'll carry me to the second phase in time."

"_Waaait..._" Bella said. "I... I _feel_ something... _Something's calling me!_" She walked passed them and further into the swamp. Layla jumped onto Todo and they followed her through the mist...

* * *

.

As Killua, Gon and Shanii ran, they heard screaming from all directions.

"EEEEK I THINK THOSE PEOPLE ARE GETTING EATEN! EWWW EWWW EWWW!"

"shut up stupid. Just stay on guard."

"I wonder if Leorio and Kurapika are okay?" Gon said worriedly.

"MAYBE THEY'RE GETTING EATEN TOO! GROSS!" Shanii said. For some reason she didn't sound happy or sad by this.

.

As Killua was about to send her another retort the three of them found themselves inside a giant frog.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH I'M DYINGGGGG HELP MEEEEEEE!" Shanii hugged Killua.

"urgh get off me!" Killua pushed her away.

Shanii grabbed Gon. "HELP MEEEEE!"

"It's okay we're not dying! :D" Gon said with a bright smile and he patted her on the head. Killua looked at Shanii with disgust (_or maybe jealousy?_). Gon continued speaking. "But we should find a way out or we might get digested! Then we would die!"

"NOOOOOOOO WHAT DO WE DOOOOOOOO!"

Killua took out a can of Tonpa's juice and poured it on Shanii's head.

"HEY WHAT WAS THAT FOR BAKER BOY?"

Then the frog opened it's mouth and they found themselves back in the outside world.

.

"WOW GON WHAT DID YOU DO! THAT'S SO AMAZING!" Shanii said.

"uuhhh, it wasn't me, hehehe... I think Killua must have done something! :D"

"_Baker boy?_ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Killua fumed. '_Stupid girl, don't you underestimate me_' His fingers turned into claws but then he looked at Gon and he fought to calm himself down. _'do not kill the stupid girl do not kill the stupid girl do NOT kill the stupid girl..._' He took a deep breath, sheathed his claws, and threw the empty can at Shanii.

"wahhh!?" Shanii caught it, much to Killua's and her own surprise.

"It was this."

"OOOOOH THE LAXATIVE!" Shanii said. "But... Doesn't that mean we should have come out the frog's oth-"

"-Please, do NOT finish that sentence." Killua quickly interrupted her.

.

"I'm still worried about Kurapika and Leorio..." Gon said.

"Forget about them. We need to catch up to the examiner." Killua stood up.

Gon looked unsure. "Shanii, what do you think?"

Shanii was rolling around on the ground trying to get rid of the frog vomit from her clothes. The only thing she succeeded in doing however was to get even more things stuck to her. _"rolly-rolly-rolly-rolly... Weeeee!"_

"uhhh Shanii?"

"_HUH? WHAT!_" She jumped up.

"Come on Stupid, we're going." Killua said before Gon could repeat his question.

"OKAY!"

Shanii and Killua ran off. Gon followed for a while but then he stopped and left them._ 'they'll be okay if they're together...'_ he thought as he ran back the way they had come._ 'But I'm really worried about Leorio and Kurapika...'_

_._

* * *

It's starting to look like a Killua/Gon/Shanii love triangle isn't it? I personally hate love triangles. What I love is LOVE DODECAHEDRONS. 

OOOOH YES!

Who's excited to meet the prophetic unicorn? I'm super excited! Be prepared for some 'horn' innuendo hahahaha.

As always, thanks for reading and re-re-re-review!


	12. The Purple Crocodile

"_Peace man..._ I mean you no harm my brother." Bella said to a gargantuan purple crocodile that was currently trying to bite her head off. The thing was the size of a tank. Watching her was Layla and Todo, having followed her into the swampy clearing which was the crocodile's home. They (Todo and Bella) had walked a long way since starting Bella's quest for the prophetic unicorn, but she had yet to find it, due to all of the 'distractions' they'd come across.

"This is the twelfth time she's mistaken a ferocious beast for a 'friend'." Todo muttered. "If I hear another one-sided conversation about the beauty of the earth, and love and happiness being the cure for all problems I think I'll just feed myself to the beast."

"No you wont." Layla said. "You're a lot easier to ride than a crocodile."

Todo grunted. "When do you think she'll find her unicorn?"

"She'll meet it at the second phase of the exam."

"What? How do you know that?" The man/ride asked.

"Lets just say that I have pretty good idea of what's going on in Bella's mind right now. 'cause of my godlike powers of deduction you know? ... And also from... Past experience..." Layla jumped off Todo to stand on the mushy swamp ground next to him. She placed Freddie on a rock in front of them so it wouldn't get wet.

"Past experience? I can't imagine you ever acting like that." The wrestler pointed at Bella, who was sitting on top of the crocodile's snout and staring deeply into its eyes while explaining the power that music has when you choose to listen,_ 'like reeeally listen man'_.

Todo kicked at some dodgy looking moss, unknowingly releasing some equally dodgy vapour into the air around him and Layla.

"I didn't say that I acted like her, I just said I've had a similar experience: you know, hallucinations and all that." Layla said as she and Todo unknowingly breathed in the dodgy moss vapour. The effects of this vapour were immediate.

.

Todo gasped dramatically. "You mean you've taken drugs? LSB I thought you were better than that! What about Freddie? He needs a stable environment to grow up in otherwise he'll face problems in the future. He'll drop out of school, get mixed with the wrong crowds... Think about poor Freddie and the suffering he'll go through because of your bad choices. Shame on you LSB!" He started sniffling.

"... Noble Steed, I didn't realise you cared so much for Freddie." Layla said with tears in her eyes.

"I just, I... Even though I haven't known him for long he holds a special place in my heart." Todo's voice cracked with emotion as he placed a hand to the left of his chest.

"Noble Steed..."

"LSB..."

They turned towards each other and embraced, sobbing and making plans for a stable future for Freddie the bazooka.

"...Noble Steed?" *sniff sniff*

"Yes LSB?" *sob*

"Will you be Freddie's Godfather?"

Todo gasped again and then started to cry even more. "O-of course! I'm honoured! Freddie, will you have me as your godfather?"

The two of them sat down in front of the bazooka which hadn't moved from its spot on the rock.

"He's not saying yes! He doesn't accept me!" Todo completely broke down in despair. "boohoohoohoo Freddieeeeeee!"

"He's a baby. He hasn't even said his first words yet." Layla said gently as she put a comforting hand on Todo's shoulder.

Todo sniffed. "really?" he asked, his face filled with hope.

Then the two of them looked at the Bazooka again. It was still just sitting there.

"Did you hear that?" Todo asked.

"Oh my gosh I can't believe it!" Layla covered her mouth with both hands, her eyes all sparkly. "Freddie said his first words!"

"Shh, I think he might say something again..." Todo leaned in close to the bazooka. "...d-dada? He said_ 'dada'_! He must accept me as his godfather!" Tears of happiness poured down his face.

"Keep going Frederick. Mummy wants to hear you say more." Layla looked at the bazooka with a proud smile. "I wish I had a video camera with me! I'll just have to record this with my heart."

Todo tilted his head to bring his ear right up to the bazooka. "dada... Is... gaaaa? He says:_ 'dada is gaaa'_." He turned to layla. "_Gaaa_? What's _'gaaa'_?"

"listen! Freddie's saying more!"

Before they could continue doting on the bazooka, a loud 'snap!' was heard, and they looked behind them to see Bella disappear inside the crocodile's mouth.

_"Duuuude..."_ She said, and she was eaten whole.

.

"How dare you!" Todo gasped. "My godson is saying his first words right now! Do you have no respect? You certainly don't have any table manners, eating like that-" Todo stopped speaking as he turned to Layla, eyes wide.

Layla didn't say anything, but an evil aura was starting to gather around her. She slowly stood up and turned to face the crocodile, her eyes narrowed and hissing. (and no, her eyes weren't hissing, she was.) Her evil aura now spread out across the whole clearing, causing every living creature to be frozen in terror. Even the ginormous crocodile was rooted to its spot.

"Because of you I missed my baby's second sentence, you miserable, incompetent worm-fodder. You will pay for what you have done. With your life."

As she marched up to the crocodile some dramatic music started to play, and everything seemed to go in slow motion as she bitch-slapped it and sent it flying Team Rocket style into the sky. Her punch to the old lady was nothing compared to this. When all that was left of the beast was a sparkle in the sky and a 'ting!' sound, she turned to Todo and gave him a bright smile.

"Now that we're free of interruptions, let's listen to more of what Freddie has to say!"

.

* * *

.

"I like the look on your face... I'm getting all excited now..." Hisoka said creepily as he walked up to Gon. Gon kept flinging his fishing rod around, trying to smack Hisoka for being so creepy.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!" Gon shouted, completely ruining the element of surprise he could have had as he attacked Hisoka from behind. Strangely enough, shouting "HAAARGH" will alert your opponent as to your whereabouts, ruining the whole point of targeting one's blind spot. Gon didn't seem to understand this interesting concept, or maybe he just didn't care, as shouting did make things a lot more dramatic and exciting.

Because he chose '_dramatic effect_' over_ 'actually hitting the guy like what anyone OTHER than the shonen protagonist would do'_, Gon soon found himself being suspended in the air, with Hisoka's manicured hand around his neck.

"hehehehe... I love that look... I really love that look!" Hisoka smiled the creepiest, perviest, most terrifying smile ever to be seen by man. The sight was almost as disturbing as a shirtless Leorio, which as you remember my dear readers, is a truly horrific sight. Do not underestimate Leorio-rays! It will be your undoing!

Gon kicked and struggled to breathe as he mentally berated himself for forgetting to brush his teeth that morning. _ 'Mito-san always told me to brush my teeth twice a day! Oh no I've let her down! I'll have to do something to make up for it... I know! I'll-'_

Gon's (completely irrelevant) thoughts were interrupted as an enormous purple crocodile fell from the sky and landed on Hisoka. **Splat.**

.

* * *

.

"HEY HEY HEY Baker boy! Did you see that giant purple crocodile that just flew threw the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO IT'S A CROCODILE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Shanii erupted into a fit of giggles at her extremely bad joke.

The two of them had caught up to the rest of the examiners and were now close to reaching the second phase of the exam. Killua had sheathed and unsheathed his claws a total of twelve times since Gon had left them, and he was now considering ripping his own heart out so he wouldn't have to hear her stupid jokes again. If only he knew that he wasn't the only examinee to have contemplated suicide to so he wouldn't have to hear an earthling open their mouth any more- 'cause then he and Todo could have started a support group together.

"There was no crocodile stupid. It was probably just a bird." Killua said.

"OR A PLANE! HAHAHAHAHA!"

_'Gon where are you?'_ Killua thought desperately.

.

* * *

.

"Gon! Are you okay?" Kurapika shouted as he ran up to the twelve year old. Gon was sitting on the ground breathing heavily and staring wide-eyed at the purple crocodile that Hisoka was currently being flattened by.

"Yeah, I'm okay. " He said, although he was quite visibly shaken. _'I forgot to pack some toothpaste for the hunter exam!' _

"Where's Hisoka and Leorio?" Kurapika asked, and Gon's completely irrelevant thoughts about teeth were interrupted for a second time. Kurapika looked at the crocodile. "It didn't eat them did it?" His voice was full of concern.

"No... Leorio is over there-" Gon pointed to an unconscious Leorio about twelve metres away. "And I think the crocodile is dead. Hisoka is underneath it."

As much as Kurapika wanted to rush over to Leorio's side he stayed where he was. Some things weren't adding up.

"Where did the crocodile come from if it's already dead?" He asked. "And how did Hisoka end up underneath it?"

"Well, heh heh, umm... It sort of fell from the sky... And it landed on top of Hisoka! :D" _'I wonder if Shanii or Killua brought some toothpaste with them...'_

"E-excuse me? Gon, did you just say that the dead crocodile fell from the sky and landed on Hisoka?" Kurapika wasn't sure if Gon was being serious or not. He noticed that the boy seemed to be rather distracted. _'He must be in shock'_ He thought. _'Yes, that's the only explanation. Gon is not feeling himself after meeting Hisoka so he's trying to lighten the mood by saying that the crocodile fell from the sky. But if it didn't fall from the sky then where did it come from?'_ Killua looked at Gon as he waited patiently for the boy's reply.

.

"_Extra minty..._ Huh? Oh yeah! That's what happened! It was really surprising! I've never seen a giant dead purple crocodile fall from the sky and land on someone before!"

"..."

"Did you hear that?" Gon asked suddenly.

"I didn't hear anything." Kurapika replied. "What did you think you heard?"

"I'm not sure, but I thought I heard a sound coming from the crocodile!"

"But Gon the crocodile is dead." -_-

"I just heard it again!" Gon ran to the crocodile's side and put his ear to it. "Kurapika listen!"

Kurapika walked over and followed Gon's example. His eyes widened as he too heard a sound from within the crocodile. "It sounds as if there's someone inside there!" He gasped. Then the crocodile started moving. "Gon get back!" Kurapika shouted, and he and Gon jumped a few paces away.

The crocodile's mouth opened and Bella stumbled out, looking rather disoriented and blinking at the brightness of the outside world.

"_wooooah..._" She said, and she started to mosey away.

"Wait!" Kurapika said and he grabbed her arm. "Your name is Bella right? Are you okay?"

Bella turned to look at him. "_Duuude..._ Are you a girl or a guy, cause you're really pretty..."

Kurapika's mouth dropped open and he let go of her, not at all sure of how to respond.

"Bella I've already told you that Kurapika's a boy! Don't you remember? :D" Gon said cheerfully.

"Gon, are you saying that you and Bella have had a conversation concerning my gender before?"

"Yeah!" said Gon. "And Killua and Shanii too! Shanii didn't believe you were a boy either!"

"oh..." was all that Kurapika said.

"Don't worry man, sex doesn't matter. All that matters is looove. _Love man, looooove_." Bella put both hands on Kurapika's shoulders and put her face right in front of his, so their noses were almost touching. "_you're really pretty though dude..._"

"ehm..." Kurapika coughed uncomfortably.

"_So anywaays..._ Peace and happiness to you all my brothers." Bella gave them the peace sign then started to wander away again.

"Where are you going Bella?" Gon asked.

"I'm searching for someone man... _someone reeeally important..._"

"You mean the examiner?" Kurapika asked. "We need to find him too, can we come with you?"

"You're on a quest too? Duuude, it must be _destiny_... We were like _destined_ to meet man._ Deeeestinyyyy_"

"Wow that's great!" Gon said, as Kurapika was again at a loss for words.

_"Grooovy..."_ Bella said as she disappeared through the mist.

"wait!-"

"Kurapika, you go with her! I'll follow later with Leorio."

"But Gon-"

"It's okay! I'll be able to follow Bella from the smell of Crocodile insides! :D" yum yum yum...

Kurapika gulped. "Are you sure Gon?" He didn't want to admit that he was actually afraid of being alone with Bella. She seemed very different from when they had first met, as in she no longer seemed sane.

"Don't worry Kurapika! Hurry up or you'll miss her!" Gon said and Kurapika had no choice but to set off in Bella's direction. 'I hope she actually does know where the examiner is and that she won't lead us on a wild goose chase...'

.

* * *

.

.

This chapter was kind of weird wasn't it? I finished writing it at around 3:30 last night so lets just blame it on my lack of sleep. And if you're wondering about Gon's obsession with toothpaste... Come on. You've seen his pearly whites. He obviously puts great importance on dental hygiene.

I remember reading a few reviews asking for some KurapikaXSomeone, I think it was Bella... I hope it was Bella... Wait, someone asked for BellaXKillua... Did they? But I also remember reading something about KilluaXShanii... Looks like things will be getting pretty interesting! I think I mentioned my love for love dodecahedrons last authors note...

I love completely unexpected and awkward interactions between random characters, whether or not it leads to romance isn't really a big deal to me. That's why the love dodecahedron thing is cool cause anything can happen. the more random and awkward the better. I just thought i'd warn you all.

I already have a few ideas but if you want any specific characters to interact more just give me your suggestions in a review. (this is me trying to subtly manipulate more people to review..._ ~reviiiieewwwwwwww~_)

Thanks for reading :)


	13. Kurapika the Emotional Avenger

**Thanks to Lani0108, Awesomeangel, Neferpitou, KieyuuMizuumi and 'Guest' for reviewing the last chapter! And to everyone else who's reviewed as well of course :) You all get a Gold Star and an invisible pet penguin.**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while :(**

**To make up for it here's a joke: "Ah I see!" The blind man said as he peed into the wind. "It's all coming back to me now!" (teeheehee)**

* * *

"Umm Bella? Are you sure you know where you're going?" Kurapika asked yet again. He had been walking with Bella through the marsh for five whole minutes!

"Yeaaah man, no worries." Bella turned to him and put his face in her hands. Kurapika was feeling very uncomfortable. "He's calling me... You know?" She walked up to a tree and held one of its branches in her hand. "It's nice to meet you too... Peace and love to you..."

"The examiner is calling for you? Isn't that cheating? He's giving some examinees an unfair advantage." Kurapika said.

"It's the journey that counts... Not the destination duude. "

"As I was saying-"

"You shouldn't put too much value on material things, man. Appreciate the small things in life... Like flowers... And music... That's the key to happiness."

Kurapika's eyes flashed angrily. "I don't have time for that. I can't be happy until I've avenged my clan."

"Faaar out man! Chiiiill."

"Excuse me?" Kurapika was starting to get rather upset. (to be honest it's surprising he's already lasted so long without punching her in the face. Kurapika truly is an incredible person.)

"Chiiiiiill, relaaaaax. You need to focus your negative energy on something positive."

"The only thing I fear is that my rage will subside over time."

"Woooah man! You're a little emotional... You should try meditating man... Cleanse your mind, body and soul of all the negative vibes pent up inside." Bella grabbed Kurapika's arm and directed him to a round rock a few metres away. After motioning him to sit down on it she sat herself down on another rock, crossing her legs.

"Now, close your eyes, but don't close them. Sorta like half close them you know? Yeaaaah... And put one hand on the other.. The _Dhyana Mudra_ you know? Grooovy..." Kurapika did as she said, realising that the quickest way out of this situation would just be to put up with her antics._ 'The quicker I get this done, the faster I'll get to the next phase of the exam, and the sooner I can get far, far away from her.'_ (and be with Leorio :P)

"Now... Take a deeep breath..."_ *breathes in and holds*_ "And then release..." _*breathes out slowly*_ "and again..." This carried on for a good few minutes.

"Yeah man... Don't you feel more calm now? The power of meditation... Peace and love to you." Bella stood up and wandered away again. "Now that my mind and spirit are more at peace it's easier to feel his call..."

.

Kurapika stood up and followed after her. He had to admit that he did feel a lot calmer now. He still hated the Phantom Troupe more than anything else in the world and he still wanted to avenge his clan, but he now felt a sense of tranquillity that he didn't even realise was possible. He now felt a lot more sure about his life. "Yes. I am going to kill every member of the Phantom troupe and take back my clan's eyes."

"Wooah man! What happened to positive vibes? Killing is negative man, negative. Peace and love is the cure for everything."

Kurapika realised that he had voiced his thoughts aloud._ 'I've just told her one of my deepest secrets... My goal and the reason why I'm becoming a Hunter...'_ He looked at Bella and said to her seriously, "I have to kill them. I have sworn to avenge my clan."

"Man, you are one to hold a grudge..."

Kurapika couldn't believe what he was hearing. "They massacred my clan for our eyes."

"Oooh... That's not cool."

"No. It's not. I'm the sole survivor and it is my duty to avenge them."

"Woah man. You are really into the whole 'avenger' thing aren't you?"

"Well what would you do?" Kurapika asked.

"I'd express my feelings though music maaan. Release my negative energies through a positive incarnation you know?"

"You mean you think that I should sing to the savages that massacred my clan?" Thankfully, Kurapika had just been meditating, because if he hadn't he would have been a lot angrier at what he was hearing. A LOT angrier. Even so, if Bella was looking at him she would have seen that his eyes were now a different colour to his usual brown. But then again, who knows what Bella is seeing in her state?

"Yeaaah man. Music is the language everybody understands." Bella grabbed his hand as they walked along, and she started singing 'All you need is Love' by The Beatles.

**_'There's nothing you can do that can't be done.. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung...'_**

_'Please... Where is the second exam phase?'_ Kurapika thought desperately.

.

* * *

.

As Kurapika's figure disappeared through the mist, Gon ran over to Leorio. "Leorio! Wake up! :D"

Leorio didn't wake up, which was probably a good thing. (Leorio-rays aren't as strong when he's unconscious.)

Suddenly, the dead crocodile started moving again, much to Gon's surprise. There was a bit of shuffling and squirming and then it was propelled off the ground and flew a few metres away. From the crater the crocodile left behind emerged Hisoka, looking surprisingly okay for a man who had just been squished by a falling reptile. However he was rather annoyed with the dirt he got on his clothes, and his hair wasn't looking as 'fabulous' as usual.

After taking a minute or two to fix his hair, Hisoka turned to Gon and gave him a creepy smile. "The feeling of cold scales against my skin turn me on oooohhhhhhh..."

"It's not an alligator it's a crocodile." Gon corrected him politely, readying his fishing rod in case Hisoka starting being creepy again. Well, creepier.

"Being corrected turns me on haaaaaaaaaa..." Geez, what doesn't turn this guy on?

As innocent as Gon was, he knew that there was something about Hisoka that would make Mito-san tell Gon to stay away. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, but it probably had something to do with the face paint and the weird pink corset. Because of this, when Hisoka started to approach him Gon quickly backed away.

"Don't you worry my little apple!" Hisoka said, sounding very creepy and making Gon rather worried. "You and your friend have passed my little game of Examiner. Fufufu"

"Game? What game?" Gon asked. What sort of game involves getting flattened by a giant purple crocodile?

"Those eyes! Ooooooooooohhhhhh!" Hisoka licked his lips and Gon swung back his fishing rod.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Hisoka got a message on his phone and so he picked up Leorio and left.

_'Oh no! Leorio's been kidnapped!'_ Gon thought, (no duh) and he ran off after Hisoka.

.

* * *

.

"Baker boy I'm BOOOOOORED!" Shanii said to Killua. They were waiting at the site of the second phase of the exam along with the rest of the examinees.

"Shut up." Killua said. (Not very nicely)

"But I'm so BOOOOORED!"

Killua rolled his eyes. "Then do something to pass the time instead of annoying me."

"POO-FACE!"

"Is that really the greatest insult that you can come up with?" (A/N: This was my ultimate insult until a few years ago...)

"POO-BUM!" (A/N: This one too...)

"Keep trying..." Killua said sarcastically. _'She's so stupid...'_

"I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU NO MORE, YOU EMPTY-HEADED ANIMAL FOOD-TROUGH WIPER! I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOU FATHER SMELT OF ELDER BERRIES!" (A/N: If you don't know what this is from then you have yet to experience the best comedy ever!)

Killua blinked. "What?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! - Hey it's Layla!" Shanii pointed at the girl riding to the exam site. Killua mysteriously disappeared.

.

* * *

.

"Are we nearly there LSB?" Todo grunted

"Yeah, I can see the second phase now." Layla said from his shoulders.

Todo grunted again. "That's the thirteenth time you've said that. I'm not that stupid you know."

"Oh... Well it works with Shanii and Bella." Layla said.

Luckily for the two of them, the effects of the magic moss had now worn off, and they were both back to their normal selves - sort of. It turns out that having your parenting instincts turned up to the max, and doting over a baby bazooka together does wonders to your acquaintanceship; now they were friends!

"Well, this time I'm actually telling the truth. The second phase is right there."

Soon enough they reached the second phase of the exam.

"LAYYYYYYLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! " Shanii ran and glomped Layla, knocking her off Todo in the process.

"LAYLA DID YOU MISS ME!?"

"No."

"AWWW I MISSED YOU TOO LAYLA! ISN'T IT GREAT THAT WE'RE ALL TOGETHER! Well, Bella's not here but still..."

"And after all I'm only sleeeeeeeeeping!"

"Bella's back."

Sure enough, Bella arrived at the exam with Kurapika and Gon. Kurapika looked a little worse for wear - being subject to Bella's singing does that to people - but Gon looked okay; the boy is the ultimate product of human evolution; he is immune to everything.

"Ne-nee! Shanii, is Leorio here?" Gon asked Shanii.

"Heh? Oh yeah the old guy is by that tree; the creepy clown guy brought him here."

"Okay! Thanks Shanii! Where's Killua?"

"Baker boy disappeared when Layla came. LET'S GO LOOK FOR HIM!"

The two of them ran off, leaving everyone else to be tortured by Bella's singing. She was now onto the next song of her random Beatles montage: 'Come Together'.

"Please, make her stop." Kurapika begged Layla. Well he didn't beg, he just asked very politely because he's Kurapika. He's too pretty to beg.

"What's wrong with The Beatles?" Layla asked.

"Beetles? I don't have any problem with beetles. Only spiders..." Kurapika said very seriously.

_"Remember that."_ Layla whispered to Todo._ "It could make great blackmailing material in the future."_

_"Remember the fact that the pretty boy likes beetles? What's the use in that?_" Todo whispered back.

_"Not the beetles dumbass, he has arachnophobia."_

_"Oh... I see... LSB you sure live up to your name. You're f***ing terrifying."_

_"Thanks noble steed."_

_"Handshake?"_

_"Sure."_

...

Todo and Bella did their secret handshake, which involved a lot of fist-bumping and hand-slapping. Kurapika wondered what possibly could have happened to Layla and Todo in the marshes for them to become friends._ 'Layla doesn't look like the type to do handshakes, and for Todo and her to be friends is a surprise- she was threatening him with a bazooka when I last saw them... They must have both gone through a life-threatening situation together and used teamwork to make it out alive, therefore learning to trust one another and becoming comrades. That is the only plausible explanation.'_

"Duuude, that's a groovy handshake..." Bella said to them after Layla and Todo finished their handshake. (It took a whole two minutes and thirteen seconds.) To Kurapika's relief, she had now stopped singing.

"Thanks." Todo grunted. "How's your search for the prophetic unicorn going?"

_'Prophetic unicorn? What is the wrestler talking about?'_ Kurapika wondered.

"I can feel him calling me, man... He's close by..."

_'She is being called by a unicorn? I thought that she was being called by the examiner?'_ Kurapika was confused._ 'Perhaps she thinks that Satotz is a unicorn? No that couldn't be right...'_

"LSB, you said that your Hippie friend would find the unicorn at the second phase. I guess you were right. "

"Of course I was. Bella, you should hurry; the prophetic unicorn has waited a long time. You don't want to test his patience."

"Yeaaah man..." Bella slowly turned to the mob of examinees waiting for the second phase of the exam to begin. Then her eyes widened. She pointed at someone in the crowd.

"Duuude... I've found him... I found the prophetic unicorn..."

.

* * *

**I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG!**

**Schools starting again next week so I've been in a rush trying to get everything sorted before it starts. I've also been doing stuff like deciding on the subjects I'm taking and possible careers and all that jazz so yeah... Some pretty important stuff I suppose. Unfortunately this stuff goes before writing.**

**Once school starts I'll be SO busy so my updates will be far less frequent but I'll try to do a chapter a week or something? Maybe two if I can.**

**If anyone was wondering about Shanii's AWESOME insult and didn't know where it was from I'll tell you now. It was from ****Monty Python and The Holy Grail. I LOVE this film and I love Monty Python and I just HAD to put in a reference of it somewhere in the fic hahaha. I'll probably include more later so be prepared mwahaha. btw, if you haven't seen the film you can watch it on youtube ;)**

**ALSO, who/what do you think the unicorn is? I'm interested to see what your guesses are, especially after my sister's guess hahaha. (She was wrong.)**


	14. Horney

**I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG!**

**I KNOW I SAID I'D TRY TO DO ONE TO TWO CHAPTERS A WEEK BUT EVEN THAT PROVED TO BE TOO MUCH FOR ME!**

**SOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!**

**Ivory elephant, Keiyuu Mizuumi and Lani, thanks for your reviews for chapter thirteen, your questions will be answered in this chapter :D**

* * *

Kurapika, Todo and Layla turned their heads to see what on Earth (or on the HunterXHunter dimension) Bella had pointed at. Layla looked unsurprised whereas Kurapika and Todo were completely flabbergasted. Bella started walking over to the 'unicorn'.

"We need to stop her! She'll be in danger if she goes any closer!" Kurapika said to Layla. "She is your friend isn't she?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I agree with the pretty boy on this one." Todo said. "That's one dangerous unicorn."

"Please stop calling me pretty boy..." Kurapika muttered. He was ignored.

"You two are so heartless." Layla deadpanned. "My poor Hippie friend has journeyed long and far in her search for the prophetic unicorn, and as soon as she finds it you try to keep her away? Shame on you."

"Uuh, LSB... The unicorn is-"

.

Todo was interrupted by Kurapika, who looked at Layla suspiciously. "You knew about this from the start, didn't you?" he accused her. "You knew all about the unicorn but you didn't say anything."

Layla looked at Kurapika and he was immediately trapped in her gaze. Despite her bored expression, Layla's eyes showed what could have been pure evil or resentment (Kurapika wasn't really sure which) and she radiated her evil auras for the second time that day.

Todo coughed. "LSB, the Hippie's almost reached the 'unicorn'," the wrestler said, interrupting the staring match between Layla and Kurapika.

Immediately, all traces of the evil aura disappeared, as if it were never there.

"Yeah? Man, I wish I had a video camera." Layla looked away from Kurapika and went back to watching Bella with Todo, ignoring the lone Kurta Clan survivor.

_'And she called the wrestler and me heartless?'_ Kurapika thought as he rounded on her. "You haven't answered my question." The pretty boy was not one to back down, much to Layla's annoyance. He didn't understand the girl at all and her reaction to his question made him all the more anxious._ 'If she was angry at being falsely accused then I would understand her reaction, but I have a feeling it was something else... Depending on what she thought, this girl could be a very dangerous enemy. I need to find out what her intentions are.'_

Layla was saved from having to explain anything to the pretty blond as Bella ran up to her unicorn and started stroking his head. (She was stroking the unicorn's head, not Kurapika's)

.

"Oh groovy prophetic unicorn ... I have finally found you man... Now that my beautiful quest is over will you give me a prophecy?"

"Shit. She's dead." Todo said, as Kurapika's mouth gaped in horror. Layla yawned.

_~Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick _~ Gittarackur turned his head to look straight at the blonde girl who was stroking his head, his killing aura slowing starting to seep out. Bella was completely oblivious to her plight. "What's your name dude? Ooooh I know, it's Horney, isn't it? Duuude, Horney, your mane is so silky and soft, it must be your magic unicorn powers." Bella bent down, picked a flower from the ground and put it in his hair. "Here is my offering, dude. Oh wise one, give me your prophecy."

.

Gitturackur/Horney the Unicorn pulled a pin from his pocket, stabbed Bella in the forehead and then walked away.

…

Bella just stood there, rooted to the spot with a pin sticking out of her forehead. The other examinees looked at her warily, wondering why she was not already a dead body lying on the ground after what she had just done.

_(One does not simply mistake Gittarackur for a unicorn. His magical horn is guarded by more than just pins. His crazy overprotective-brother-ness does not sleep. His eyes are EVER WATCHFUL.)_ O.O

.

Layla, Todo and Kurapika walked over to Bella. They stood in front of her for about a minute but she still didn't move. Kurapika waved his hand In front of her face, yet he received no response.

"Is she dead?" Todo grunted. (he grunts a lot doesn't he?)

Kurapika checked Bella's pulse on her wrist. "No, she has a heartbeat, and she's standing. I believe what must have happened is that the pin is lodged in the primary sensory cortex of her brain, meaning that-"

"-she's unable to process sensory information from her body. Which means that she'll be-"

"-hey LSB, shouldn't you save the scientific explanations for after we've helped your friend?" Todo interrupted Layla after she interrupted Kurapika. The pretty boy didn't seem to be too happy about it.

"Fine." Layla grabbed the head of the pin and yanked it out of Bella's head.

"Be careful!" Kurapika said, alarmed. _'She seems intelligent enough to understand the danger her friend is in, yet she doesn't show the slightest bit of care or caution that this situation demands. Does she even care for Bella at all?'_ Kurapika decided that he didn't like Layla very much._ 'Her morals are certainly questionable; I don't think that she is someone I will be able to trust. Bella and Shanii don't seem at all dangerous though; I wonder why they spend so much time with her? Perhaps I should try to caution them about their friend.'_

As Kurapika was musing about all of this, Bella blinked and looked around her with surprise.

"Errr what's going on…Where am I? Urgh, my head hurts." She touched her forehead and her eyes widened with shock.

…

"HOLY SHIT!"

"Bella telling jokes? Maybe I didn't pull the pin out in the right way… I'll just stick it back in and-"

"NO! What the hell Layla?" Bella covered her forehead with both her hands and jumped backwards before grumbling,_ "and I tell jokes sometimes too… I can be quite the comedian if I say so myself…"_

_*Crickets chirp* *some awkward shuffling*_

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Bella had noticed the lack of enthusiasm in their responses and was about to showcase her comedic prowess when Satotz began to announce something to the crowd. Glad of the interruption, Layla, Todo and Kurapika turned to face him to listen to whatever it was he had to say.

.

* * *

.

_Grumble grumble grumble… gurgle gurgle gurgle… grumble grumble gurgle gurgle… …gurgle… … … guuuuurgle_

"I'm hungry." A really, really big guy said to a rather scantily clad woman next to him. "Menchi, when's our phase of the exam gonna start?"

"Soon Buhara, don't worry," the rather scantily clad woman called Menchi assured him. They were stationed in the arena for the second phase for the exam, with the examinees waiting outside the entrance. They were both a bit bored of waiting when they heard something from outside the arena.

_"HOLY SHIT!"_

"What was that Menchi?"

"It sounds like it must have been one of our contestants. They're probably all here now." Menchi said with a grin. "Let's show them what gourmet hunters are made of."

_"NO!"_

"It sounds like they don't want to see what gourmet hunters are made of…" Buhara said as Menchi's eyebrow twitched.

"Let's just bring them in." Menchi snapped, and she signaled for the doors to be opened.

.

* * *

.

"Everyone, this is the end of the first phase of the exam. We are now at the site of the second phase and it is here that I shall-" Satotz was interrupted in his goodbye-speech as the doors behind him opened._ 'I thought I made it clear when the doors were to be opened while we were practising this…'_ he muttered as he looked behind him at what lay beyond the opening gate. He looked back at the examinees and coughed awkwardly, and then did his weird walking thing over to Menchi and Buhara who were inside the previously enclosed space. It took a good few seconds for him to get there, and the examinees all shuffled around and coughed at the awkwardness of it all.

"They aren't very organised are they?" Bella scoffed, crossing her arms and fuming. "And here I thought that Hunters were considered 'the best of the best'. This Hunter Association is no better organised than the author of this fanfic! Honestly, what is the world coming to?"

_'Yup. That's the old Bella. No more talk about flowers and unicorns.'_ Layla thought._ 'Her hippie experience is going to be perfect blackmailing material against her'_

_._

Satotz finally reached Menchi.

"I believe you were supposed to signal for the doors to open after I had finished speaking to the examinees, Menchi. Not in the middle of my interesting and informative and rather heart-warming speech."

"_Pffft._ What part of your speeches are ever interesting, informative or heart-warming?" Menchi scoffed.

"Actually one of the examinees said this." Satotz huffed with pride. "In fact, sometimes I think that if I wasn't a professional Hunter I would be an orator. I just have a way with words, if I say so myself…"

_*crickets chirping again* *Some more awkward shuffling*_

Trying desperately to change the subject, Menchi decided to just go ahead and start the next phase of the exam.

"Will all examinees who passed the first phase of the exam please enter?" She announced to the group.

* * *

**There! The next chapter! I'm so sorry it took so long, but unfortunately I can't guarantee that I won't ever take ages to update again. :(**

**But even though I haven't been doing much writing lately, I have been thinking about the story and where it will lead... sort of... I'm not very organised and also kind of forgetful but I do have a very very VERY rough idea of the plot for the story... kinda... (Don't worry, my idea's for what's to come in the probably distant future are pretty epic, at least in my opinion.)**

**Thanks for reading :)**


	15. Bleeeeeeeugh!

**Obese-Gorilla is back!**

**Thanks CUPCAKECUPIDITY, SPACEOPERA, KUNOICHI79, LANI0108, XXIVORYELEPHANTXX AND TIMPIX for your reviews! It's really great to hear (or read) what you guys think of the story :)**

* * *

**Because it's been a while I thought I'd do a quick recap: They've finished the first phase of the exam, the prophetic unicorn was revealed to be Gittarackur, Bella is no longer a hippie and Satotz wants to be an orator.**

**that was probably the worst recap in the world.**

* * *

"Welcome. I'm Menchi, the examiner for the second phase of the exam."

"And I'm Buhara, the other examiner."

.

_Grumble grumble gurgle gurgle..._

.

"ERMAGERD IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE! STOP, DROP AND ROLL!" Shanii started rolling around on the ground and tried to get Gon and Killua to do the same. "COME ON GUYS, THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO DURING EARTHQUAKES!"

"Stupid, how's that supposed to help you during an earthquake?" Killua scoffed.

"Ehehe, Shanii? I think that's what you're supposed to do when your clothes are on fire :D" Gon said.

"… uhhh I KNEW THAT! I was just… TESTING YOU! YEAH! GON PASSED THE TEST BUT BAKER BOY FAAAAAAILED." Shanii childishly stuck her tongue out at Killua and he rolled his eyes.

"Get up Stupid, all the other examinees are staring at you."

Shanii looked around and saw that the other examinees were indeed staring at her. "WHAT? I WAS JUST TESTING THEM!" she yelled. _'Suuuure…'_ they all thought.

Gon helped Shanii get back up and everyone turned back to look at Menchi and Buhara.

.

"Despite what one of you had thought, that was no earthquake just now." Menchi said, and a few people laughed. She looked up at Buhara. "You must be getting really hungry now," she said, and he nodded. All those who were laughing stopped right away._ 'Wait, HE made the sound?'_ they thought.

"I'm starving!" Buhara said.

_Grumble grumble gurgle grumble..._

"ME TOO! I STILL HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING SINCE ARRIVING IN THI-mmphhhffffphfffffmmmmfffffffphhhhh!" Killua stopped Shanii from speaking. "Do you want every examiner to hate you, Stupid?" he asked.

Menchi was getting rather annoyed by Shanii's constant interruptions and was grateful to the white-haired boy for shutting the stupid earthling up. She exhaled sharply and forced a smile on her face. "And there you have it. The second phase of the exam will involve… Cooking!"

There was a lot of dramatic gasping and confusion after she said this, and a few of the examinees were rather annoyed, including Todo.

.

* * *

.

"Why do we have to cook?" Todo asked angrily. Layla stood next to him yawning while Bella was actually quite excited. She was a very good cook after all. Kurapika just stood there looking pretty.

"Because we're Gourmet Hunters." Menchi said with pride.

"Man, what a let-down. They're _gourmet_ hunters." someone said. Many of the examinees sniggered. Menchi's eyebrow twitched.

"So, _Gourmet Hunters_, what do we have to make?" Todo asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Pork." Buhara said with a lick of his lips, and then Menchi proceeded to explain the rules for the exam.

"You all have to prepare a meal that BOTH of us will enjoy, and it must include pork like Buhara said. You'll find your ingredients in the immediate area and use the tools provided by us to prepare them."

"Yeah, yeah, let's just start." Todo said rudely and Menchi crossed her arms with annoyance.

**Donnggggggggggg!** Buhara slapped his big belly and the second phase of the exam began.

.

* * *

.

On their way to the forest to search for pigs, Gon, Killua and Shanii found Leorio lying unconscious by a tree outside of the cooking exam arena.

"Hey, what's the old guy still doing here? HAHAHAHA HE FAILED THE EXAM! STUPID OLD GUY!" Shanii started poking the unconscious Leorio in the face.

"Shanii, that's not very nice!" Gon said.

"But it's true." Killua said. "He didn't make it into the arena for the second phase of the exam, and he only got this far being carried by Hisoka."

"EWWWWWW CREEPY CLOWN GUY GERMS!" Shanii wiped the finger that she had poked Leorio with on Killua's shoulder. "NO RETURNS BAKER BOY!"

Killua shuddered and rubbed his shoulder against a nearby tree.

.

"Oh my goodness! What's going on Gon, Killua, Shanii?" Kurapika ran over to them, followed by Bella and Layla riding on Todo. Then Kurapika saw Leorio and gasped. "It's Leorio! What is he doing out here? I wondered why I hadn't seen him inside when we were getting briefed for the next exam phase." Then he gasped again. "I remember now! I was supposed to go and see him but then I got distracted by Bella and her unicorn." He looked down at Leorio with tears in his eyes. "I've been a terrible friend."

"Don't worry Kurapika! We all forgot about him! :D" Gon said cheerfully. He looked down at Leorio and patted his cheek. "Sorry Leorio!"

Leorio remained unconscious.

.

"Wait… is that…" Bella looked at Leorio and her brow furrowed. "I have a feeling I've seen him somewhere…" She ran to the tree that Killua was standing next to and threw up. _Bleeeeeeeugh!_

"Tsk, now there's vomit on my shoes." Killua muttered.

"Shit, sorry!" Bella apologised to Killua and then calmly walked back to the others.

"Sorry about that guys, I just had the urge to throw up all of a sudden… But I don't think I ate anything bad today… I don't even remember eating anything actually… In fact, I don't remember anything I've done since we were running in a tunnel somewhere… SHIT! LAYLA WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?" Bella started her familiar routine of realizing an important detail rather late and then demanding an explanation from Layla.

.

Layla jumped off Todo and walked over to Leorio. Despite the fact that Leorio rays are weaker when Leorio is unconscious, Layla and Bella were still rather sensitive to them and Layla couldn't get any closer to him than a metre. She motioned for Gon to put Leorio's jacket on him, then slowly walked over to Killua's tree and threw up as well. _Bleeeeeeeeeeeugh!_

It's a good thing that Killua has been avoiding Layla; as he had used his crazy assassin techniques to get away from her, he also escaped getting more vomit on his sneakers.

.

They all stared at Layla. _'She has a weakness!'_

_'This is something I should remember in case she becomes my enemy'_ Kurapika thought.

_'The OLD MAN is her weakness? Who would've thought that the evil girl's weakness would be something so dumb?'_ Killua thought.

_'Don't worry LSB, I won't let the Old Man anywhere near my 'bro''_ Todo thought.

_'I don't remember anything and Layla and I have just thrown up... Were we drinking? What's the age limit in this dimension?'_ Bella thought.

_'Hehehehehe I think Killua likes Layla... Killua and Layla up a tree: K-Y-S-S-I-N- -'_ Shanii thought. Her stupid levels are currently off the charts.

_'Maybe there's some toothpaste inside Leorio's briefcase...'_ Gon thought.

.

Layla turned around to face Bella, distracting them all from their thoughts. "Don't worry Bella, I remember full well what happened to you." She said with an evil smile. "You'll find out in due time."

Bella gulped. "Oh my god. What did I do? Is it bad?"

"I'll tell you one thing." Layla said. Her evil smile was now a feral grin. "Your parents wouldn't be proud."

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Please don't say I- I didn't- what if I- I'M SORRY MUM AND DAD FOR WHATEVER EVIL AND UNWHOLESOME THINGS I HAVE DONE! I KNOW I'M ALREADY DEAD BUT PLEASE DON'T DISOWN ME! I PROMISE THAT I'LL GET A DECENT AND WELL-PAID JOB AND LIVE AN HONEST LIFE/DEATH!"

"Wow, what is she thinking?" Todo said to Layla.

"Bella likes to assume the worst case scenarios for things, which often end up with her having no future and resorting to working in a strip club or brothel for the rest of her life. It's pretty stupid, no strip club would hire that piece of walking blubber." Layla said.

"_Nee_...what's a strip club? And what's a brothel?" Gon asked.

"It's a place where-"

"I think it's about time that we get back to the cooking exam!" Kurapika said quickly. "I will look after Leorio, so the rest of you can go ahead without me."

.

* * *

**_~little timeskip of about two minutes~ dududududududu lalalalalalala_**

* * *

.

"He's like a dog." Todo grunted, and Layla_ 'Hmmm'_ed in reply. They were following Gon in Biska forest in search of some pigs.

"There's some religions where you're not meant to eat pork." Bella said. "The examiners should really have chosen a different meat. It's insensitive. Seriously, if the Hunters Association is so huge and important then it should really take into account-"

"Bella, we know, the Hunters Association sucks. Go and complain to the chairman about it." Layla said in a bored voice.

"I will!" Bella huffed in reply. "That will be the first thing I do after I pass this stupid exam."

"Wow Bella you're so confident! :D" Gon said. "Why do you want to pass the hunter exam?"

"Gon don't you remember? Shanii said it's because _her bra_ told them to." Killua said, his voice clearly showing his disbelief.

"Not my bra! _Tha'bra!_" Shanii screeched, pointing at Bella who, if you remember, was the one appointed with the task of looking after Mibra the Annoying Physics Book/Godly Figure. (Whether or not she was actually fulfilling this task was another matter.) Gon and Killua didn't know that though.

_'Bella's bra?'_ they thought.

"Mibra told us to pass the Hunter exam. It's the reason why we're here." Bella said.

"Ookay..."

.

Gon started sliding down a hill and the others followed. Well, three of them did.

"Yahoooo!" Killua said, as he slid down behind Gon.

"WEEEEEEEEE!" Shanii screeched as she rolled down behind Killua.

_"So immature..."_ Bella muttered as she trudged down after them grumpily.

.

"Well, are you gonna go down?" Layla knocked on Todo's head. _"I'm waiting..."_

They were still at the top of the hill, watching the others who were now half-way down. Todo seemed rather reluctant to follow the others, and Layla was getting rather impatient with her ri-_friend._

"Uhh... Sorry LSB, but those flowers at the bottom of the hill... They look like one of the kinds I'm allergic to." Todo said, pointing at some pretty pink flowers about twenty metres away.

_"And?_" Layla asked.

"Well, if they're the flowers that I think they are it could cause some serious problems..." Todo said slowly.

Layla rolled her eyes. "What sorts of problems? It had better not be something pathetic like a little rash."

"No, not a rash..." Todo whispered something to Layla and her eyes widened.

"Well _that's_ interesting" She said with that familiar evil gleam in her eye. _"Very interesting..."_

Layla jumped off Todo and started to trudge down the hill in a similar fashion to Bella, only with less muttering and more _'evil genius with a plan-ness'_. Without looking back she called to Todo: "You go back to the arena and save me a kitchen. I'll get us both pigs to cook."

.

* * *

**Layla actually offering to do something for someone else? That seems rather suspicious...**

**Guess what? It's my birthday today! woohoo!**

**hey, hey, guess what? I can think of a great birthday present! Reviews! not that I'm ungrateful for the ones I have already -seriously, I love them all so much- but I know that there's a few people who have read the whole story and not ever commented on it (yes YOU! RIGHT THERE!) so don't be shy! you know you waaaant to!**


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